i love this book (or fic, what are we supposed to call them?) up until the ending. I had the nasty, horrible feeling that poor Toby is going to be rejected. You should write a sequel (I prefer multi-chaptered and with some angst, but not much) because you so have a nice start for a story.

well, I think the only thing I'm gonna criticize about beside the fact that I despise your ending (WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT) is your um-kind-of-sort-of poor summary (and title,perhaps).
I mean, if it wasn't because of me accidentally noting that you got 26 reviews there, which means above average (well damn I think this fic is beyond that category) for a oneshot-type-of-story, I'd have easily looked over this and gone to read something else.
But I must say that I feel terribly guilty for underestimating this at first! I loved it so much! I don't know how you do that, but you got this thing that makes even a minor character appear so interesting (hey I liked Chris ok).
I have no right to complain about the ending though, but I think from the way Toby told it from his pov, Viv said ...something along the lines of no? idk, it's just that the answer kinda leaned to it. I just hope Viv made a witty response that means YES OK WE CAN FUCK in the end instead of refusing Toby BUT GOD IF I AM RIGHT THEN I'LL BE SO SAD THAT I'LL HATE YOU.
anyway, have i said that i love this? :)

aww damn u cant leave us on suspense! :D i loved both characters - awesome!

I think he refused...poor toby...

Oh wow. I loved this! It was fluffy. It was cute. And most of all it was funny. You had some really original comedic lines there. I really loved Chris and Joy and the idea of an American Japanese man working in a Chinese restaraunt - among other things of course. It took me a while to realise Chris was gay too - perhaps I accidentally overlooked it but it didn't make any difference to me. You had some wonderful characterisations implemented as well. Thank you for writing this, I really enjoyed it. As for what Viv said at the end, well I can only hope that he agreed!

I loved this story! The characters were all so interesting At the end I think Viv said "I want to be on top" :D that would be funny and it would fit his earlier statement that he didn't like being the bottom

Oh my gosh I loved this! Wonderful writing! And your characters had such personality!

Very well done!

Kerrigas

oh this is wonderful, and then it ended(!?) i love the vocabulary and the way they speak and affect. great job!

I love this, LOOOVE it. Due to my hopeless romanticism, Viv's response could only be, "What do you want on your pizza?" or more likely, "Pray tell, is pizza all you will accept for sustenance or might we have sushi for our repast?" but then he knows Toby doesn't like sushi so then I'm stuck, but doesn't matter 'cause I'm not the author this is just my wild, and clearly spot-on, imaginings of what Viv said.

Since you asked for things that people don't like, and it's not so much a dislike as an annoyance, in the summary you have, "Viv is neat, Toby is not." and then you flip the order and then keep it. It's just jarring to me. It seems, to me, that it should all be, "Viv is, Toby isn't" or alternated. Yes, so I just wasted a lot of time typing about a nit-picky thing when really I should be extolling the virtues of you as an author. You're great! :)

Totally into this! You're a hell of a writer.

I loved this one!

And of course they stayed in the apartment and lived happy ever after! :)

THAT WAS SO CUTE! I genuinely loved reading this story! I loved Toby and Viv and Chris and everyone! I loved how their relationship formed and grew and I loved how they fell in love!

I hope you keep writing amazing things! I would love to read more from you!

After realizing that you had written one of my favorite stories on here (Neurotic), I've come to the conclusion that you are indeed that master of dialogue. I swear, it's like I'm watching a snarky movie every time I read something of yours. The only thing I didn't love was that I couldn't help but feel rushed at the end. This could just be me, and the way I read it. I suppose what I mean to say is that there are things that I think were glossed over, and I didn't feel a distinct climax in the story while reading. At one point, I glanced over at the scroll bar and thought, 'What? it's almost over?' It didn't exactly feel like an ending to me. But like I said, that could just be me.

I always love your characters. And, of course, I adore the witty banter. I just- agh! I love your writing. Plain and simple. Keep being awesome.

I lost this, then I found it again. And damn... I'm so in love with this story. Thanks for writing awesome stuff like this.

PS: be nice and give us a sequel?

Wow that was so good, I felt so sorry for Toby when he realised he was falling for Viv, because I'm pretty sure Viv said to go to the party at the end, he's too sensible. :( bittersweet fic, loved it.