|Reviews for Crime of Passion|
| Vertiginous 2/4/12 . chapter 2
Princess, great second chapter! Continue the funny and creative writing! However, may I point out something? It appears that Kimberly is Mrs. Odi even when she is only engaged. :s
| Potato Carnivore 1/28/12 . chapter 2
Why have I not read this? :O
Well, now I did. And it is awesome!
I laughed a lot. Abs and lingering gazes. Ahh, the innocence... XD
Looking forward to the next chapter! :D
| lyrro 1/27/12 . chapter 2
You always surprise me with how your stories turn out!
Your description is wonderful!
I hope you do continue this story. Keep up the good work!
| True Talker 1/23/12 . chapter 1
This is very good and very well written, I do like your story concept here. Yes, I will critique and I really feel like you are testing me (I hope that I don't make any mistakes because currently my printing screen has teeny, tiny, printing...).
Critique; When I see the word "flushing" sorry, however I think of a toilet - so this is up to you however I wrote it this way - "the memories rapidly penetrate my thoughts" - if you would like you can play around with that a bit and place it exactly the way you want it. (Yes, for your story.)
Where you have "dews" I put - "I close my eyes and let the trickle of tears fall freely down my smooth"...
Where you have "then man" I put - "the man"
Where you have "bore" I put - "I bore through his eyes with my own and tried to challenge him"...
Where you have "door closed" I put - "Seconds later, I heard a door close"...
Where you have "memories" I put - "Most of the memeories were happy ones."
Where you have car "driveway" I put - "I hear a car in the driveway."
These / I don't understand the meaning behind them - if you know better than you would have to explain that to me. I have never seen that before.
Where you have "BMW" I put - "and saw a BMW parked behind my SUV."
So, that is all that I could basically see and the choice is yours on how you place the above into your story.
Thank you for sharing your story, I was actually curious on what might have transpired between her and this "Trent" character - if memory serves me correct on his name. Again, thank you.
| Vertiginous 10/24/11 . chapter 1
Oooh, I can review now! Well, this is indeed, the three D's. Descriptive, dynamic, and daring. It's a very descriptive and hooking chapter, and it brings out the best in you. It's an awesomely dynamic ending, which brings readers in, waiting eagerly for more. It's also daring to write a mystery fic... even if it is already kind of obvious. However, a few formatting issues are still here... for example, the slash (/) should be italics, and grammatical issues, such as keeping the i's small. Also, the end should not be surrounded in *s, but in italics. That's all. I am looking forward to your next chapter.