I'm reposting my review as my previous review was not linked to my new profile -I recently finished this story (not just this chapter). Somehow I had the entire file in my kindle and read it. I don't remember how I got is as it has been there for months, imagine I must have copied/pasted the pages into a doc or something. The point is, I read it, and not knowing where I got it from, I looked for the sequel in amazon, with no success. I had read another book (origins) that had similarities to your story and thought this was a sequel of sorts. Not having put the name of the author in my copy, I was at a loss. I really wanted to find the sequel. I finally found it on the internet by search I g for the title and Raphe. I was surprised when I realized where I had gotten the story from and devastated to find no sequel. I hope you continue to write it. I k ow you say it has been published by fiction press, but I have not found the book (or eBook as I prefer), but let me k ow if that is the case.
Do read Origins, by Sam Hayden... It has super naturals, council and FBI.
Thank you for your story and looking forward for more, here or fan fiction net.

I recently finished this story (not just this chapter). Somehow I had the entire file in my kindle and read it. I don't remember how I got is as it has been there for months, imagine I must have copied/pasted the pages into a doc or something. The point is, I read it, and not knowing where I got it from, I looked for the sequel in amazon, with no success. I had read another book (origins) that had similarities to your story and thought this was a sequel of sorts. Not having put the name of the author in my copy, I was at a loss. I really wanted to find the sequel. I finally found it on the internet by search I g for the title and Raphe. I was surprised when I realized where I had gotten the story from and devastated to find no sequel. I hope you continue to write it. I k ow you say it has been published by fiction press, but I have not found the book (or eBook as I prefer), but let me k ow if that is the case.
Do read Origins, by Sam Hayden... It has super naturals, council and FBI.
Thank you for your story and looking forward for more, here or fan fiction net

Um. Okay. Please tell me that there is going to be a sequel! I absolutely love Raphe and Madison! Oh my goodness. One of the best stories I've read in a while. (: Super excited to read your other stories.

Totally digging this story. You're a great writer and wouldn't surprised to see this published one day. If I didn't have a previous engagement, I'd be finishing this story tonight so I thought I would review before I left to give you kudos! Look forward to reading the rest

As always, you pull a happy ending from the jaws of despair and loss. You silly romantic, you! ;-)

Alpha Werewolf Jonathan? :-p

Wonderful story. I meant everything I said about how damn fine this was to read. I may quibble on some details, but other than the easy to elaborate on early pacing of the relationship between Madi and Raphe, it really is ready to graduate from the amateur leagues, at least IMHO. I look forward to your future works. Anime-inspired, teen angst, and urban fantasy- check! I wonder what can possibly come next from you, hmm?

For now, though, I still have your one previous work to move on to feed my addiction...after sleep and statistics of course... :-)

Oh wow, you even managed to bring in patriotism. This is like Tom Clancy mixed with Laurel Hamilton. Okay, you're weaving one of the best damn stories I have ever read, and the best 'urban fantasy'.

I haven't commented in a bit but I like the dreamy interludes. It reminds me if my own 'Kaori' chapters, although yours predate mine and I hadn't read this so they are independent. Still, we clearly have similar romantic souls.

The heck with MacBeth! CelticX doth murder sleep! :-p

The armory was a fun flourish. It is a stretch to think it all would have survived the years, but any suspension of disbelief was worth the enjoyment value if the scene. Delicious!

And the ante gets upped. Should be fascinating to see how things develop now that the shootin' has started.

I don't think I'm sleeping tonight. :-p

Hmmmm, Kay. I was right to be dubious of the trail you had laid out. It was a trap, Admiral Akbar! ;-)

I'll note medically that the human heart would fail to pump blood LONG before there was just half a pint left in a body. While its possible magic would change that, you'd need to mention that and I'm SURE the forensics folks would have noted this as an interesting factoid.

I've noted another minor criticism that was particularly acute in this chapter. I had trouble following characters. For example when Bea comes into the apartment you switch to her POV but don't identify it. There were several instances of this. I could figure it out, but in general you don't want to make your readers work do hard.

There was one other thing but I can't remember now and my iPhone won't let me look at the story as I do a review. I may post two reviews for this chapter, or else save it for next one.

Awwwwww, that is soooo sweet! You are making Maddie so wonderfully real and I love. I think my only criticism is just how quickly it's developing. It feels a bit fast, rushed. Just a touch too perfect. It's a minor issue for FP, but something to seriously consider if you were to actually consider trying to sell this.

As I've mentioned my dad is published with Ace, just shy of a NYT Bestseller, and with his next book hopefully will be. I've asked his 'first read', my mom, to read this story. She loves Anita Blake type stuff and I'll be interested to see what she has to say. :-)

Okay, now we have the rolling orgasm. It's an obvious theory now. Too obvious. I'm beginning to second guess myself because you're making it too easy to assume a First Born. There's also the point of Alicia being drained and we know now that even Maddy can only drink about 30 ounces a day.

Poor Bea. To love Maddy that much and to be unable to do that with her. That's tough. Given my own post-op limitations I feel an intense sistership with her. You better have made her happy by the end of this story, you hear!

But like Bea, that was sure a whole lot if fun to enjoy vicariously. Now I must go off for a cold face wash before embarking on Ch 7.

Oh, wow. I love the flashback. This is some awesome character development. I'm wondering how metaphysical you're going to go with her old love coming back to her. It'd be kinda sweet if carefully handled.

Kashiwagi in Asia? ;-p

I usually read the reviews before I read a story, but I'm already a fan of yours so I know up front that it's going to be awesome. So far, I'm not disappointed. Damn, this is publishable! I love the characters and the story is engrossing.

So far, I'm already theorizing. Alicia's murderer used entrancement, and it so happens that's part of the First Born repertoire...

I was gunna stop reading to take a break, but then I realized: OMFG IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER! O_O So here I am. :D One.. more.. chapter.. Maybe a sequel? :D

You know, I'd think that Japan would be more accepting than that. :P Considering I think their culture is really interesting. Now I'm not gunna try to explain _how_ interesting cause the last time I tried people looked at me funny. :P This chapter, I think, is the "epicest" out of them all. I really like the scenes of friendship. :D

Is it bad that I just wondered why Samanthagila only kills females? :P Or has only killed 'em so far.. xD