|Reviews for Love, Tragedy, and Rose|
| writer2be14 1/29/13 . chapter 4
PS that last kinda ling review was still mine i just forgot to sign it :)
gr8 but here i go being all thechnical again:
most high schools have a "unfficial dress code" in "real life" would get "talked to" by the princapal most likely, just a little artical i read so just fyi.
| writer2be14 1/29/13 . chapter 3
i got a couple of mixed feelings on Sora's boyfriend, he seemed nice at first and gave a nice-ish impression then veers off into spine-less worm land.
also maybe before u gave a list of all the launguages that Katy's can fluently speek and i have to say that thats really uneq to speek all of them fluently.
1/100 people come out of highschool speeking french or the studied language fluently, just a little fyi.
good story but right now i feel that ur just joing through the actions, ur not really telling about her problems with the needed emotion or emphasis. thats natral, wait for the storry to settle and re-write it or just reread it to jet the "flow" better.
sorry i just got all technical :)
| writer2be14 1/29/13 . chapter 2
i like the start but maybe you might want to share some of the emotions that she got when she got the bady. also maybe you might want to have katy's full name on the acceptance letter, it makes it more legit.
| writer2be14 1/29/13 . chapter 1
well...i dont have an acount here but, i feel that you might want to put a bit more porpous into why she was kidnapped and maybe a bit of back story.
| PinkMyselfAndI 2/26/12 . chapter 3
| VampireGal14 12/14/11 . chapter 2
Again, spelling and grammar, but that's alright. There are a few sentences where you stop and go on.
"When I was kidnapped and raped, I didn't know that at this point."
That sentence leaves us wondering "What happened when you were kidnapped and raped? What didn't you know at this point?"
You also seem to skip around a lot. One moment it's about the nightmare, the next about who's telling the story, then it skips forward; days? Years? Hours? This isn't the only spot you do this. Really go through and read, re-read and re-re-read your chapters. Get a family member or friend to read it also.
Though the plot seems a little confusing at this point, it is good and it leaves us wondering-what next? I think it is good, but does need just a little more work.
| VampireGal14 12/14/11 . chapter 1
Like you said, there are grammar/spelling mistakes, so I won't go into that, but, and this is an opinion, I think the story would be better if you wrote in past tensed. For some of it you do, but for most you don't. For example (taken from your story):
"He was trying to control me for the past week"-present
"He had been trying to control me for the past week"-past tensed.
Personally I think that past tense sounds better, but you don't have to go with it. I like the plot though, sounds really good.