Oh my gosh! This would be amazing as a real book! I would buy it! It's so good so far! I love the concept and how the gypsies dance with their fire and all that! I can't wait to read more! :D

I decided to read this because the title and summary enticed me. I wanted to see if you would have a unique take on the Gypsies. Stories like this are exceptionally interesting to me because my mother was a gypsy, or Roma as it is properly called.

First off, your writing style is good and I can see that you've had some writing practice. You don't dwell long on description, which is good.

There is one thing you should be aware of. Your gypsies are representations of the stereotypes found throughout modern literature and media. They are not at all similar to the Romani people as they actually are. Obviously besides the magic and witches and vampires etc. For example, we're not mysterious, we're isolationist.

But if you're fine with that, more power too you. If you want you're gypsies to have more depth, dive in to some research and learn about the people you're writing about.

Keep working at it!