Fast paced, but the layout sorts of makes it difficult to flow smoothly, which sorts of irritates. It's otherwise a nice, catchy poem. I fell in love with the ending, 'for nothing dies quite like i do'. Dramatic.

"is only the icing of top of the cake." - on top

So, I quite liked this. I like your structure and how you seem to organize the descriptive running writing with the blunt finishing thoughts. Really makes for an impact when you read it. Also, I love solid, conclusive endings and you definitely nailed that here, using a recurring line really well. Great work! :)

Nice! I love the way you laid it out :)

dont really understand, but it's really nice, esp the stanza