i like the premise of the story. the magic and backstory (two kingdoms! awesome) and heather seems cool without being a mary sue which is always a plus. your grammar is not flawless and i don't think you should put everything . and it's an effect, it means that they're saying it really really fast and if you do it all the time then the effect is lessened.

Oo m I ur first reviewer?:D I've never been the first to review the fics I read:D anyway, this story sounds pretty cool! Can't wait for on update!