| Reviews for Forbidden |
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SuperAppleSauce521 1/20/12 . chapter 3This is a good story, I like it.3 |
6 Impossible Things 12/23/11 . chapter 2This is really good. I hope you continue to write this. |
Lynn K. Hollander 12/7/11 . chapter 1"Got ya." His voice rang. "Shut up Jevan." I said. "Not my fault you got caught, Elysia." Jevan said. More correctly punctuated/capitalized: "Got ya," his voice rang. "Shut up Jevan," I said. "Not my fault you got caught, Elysia," Jevan said. The standard form when who says it follows the dialogue is: "Look at Spot," said Jane or "I see spot," Dick said. what's said and who says it make ONE sentence, and the period goes after the who said it. I don't know how much fiction you've read, but the next time you open a novel or short story, observe the dialogue tag punctuation/capitalization. |
NorCalStar37 11/30/11 . chapter 1Loved your story. i love forbidden love :). can you review my story. Forms of Magic, Book One River Rock |
NadiaMiki 11/30/11 . chapter 1It's quite interesting after I read through it :) So this Cedric has a crush on Elysia's sister but why did he kiss her? Doesn't that mean he is lying? Oh poor Jevan ! I want to help him regain Elysia XD Nah! Just kidding! Anyway, nice story and definitely my favorite! Can't wait to read the next one! |