|Reviews for Until Death Do We Part|
| thelighttoyourmisery 12/11/11 . chapter 1
cry gotta call my mom and ask her can I go to her house and sleep in her bed my husband wont do
| Luna The Writer 12/4/11 . chapter 1
I only have a few things to say about this.
...And I loved every word.
| Pandora's Jar 12/2/11 . chapter 1
If it wasn't already horribly cold in my house I would say I believe your story gave me the chills. I normally don't read short stories on this site, but I tend to like your work so I decided to give it a read through since I'm already on the site. :-) Overall I like it, I am a HUGE Poe fan so creepy stories like this I am always fond of. (My favorite is Fall of the House of Usher, I could talk about that for hours.) Anyways Anehalia, the only suggestion I have for this is it may be better to keep such a short story strictly to one viewpoint. Traditionally these kind of stories work well in first person, but I tend to enjoy third person. Perhaps keep it limited to one character, maybe the 'him'? It's not a call for revision, it's just somewhat of an unusual shift that I felt the need to point out. You shifted over just find between them it was just left me a little confused about who this was about at the inital setup of the story.
As for hidden meaningWow! This can be interpreted in so many different ways, I don't know where to start. A little note, I loved the creatures you mentioned in this line: "The tormented creatures that were tied to the railing of the house shook their heads sadly as the cloaked figure moved up the stair." Maybe his last victims, or gargoyles? I like this concept a lot. Every creepy dude in an abandoned mansion needs pets or gargoyles. (And yet, they stay lonely. Much like how dispite the fact humans enjoy the company of pets they still long for the company other humans.)
Overall, this was a chilling read. I enjoyed this tale a lot! Thanks for posting! PJ
| Explicitly Simple 12/2/11 . chapter 1
Is this "him" representing death? Because if it does, then you must be' quite creative :) The metaphors about the house are beautifully painful. In other words, your too awesome :) just like the story.