|Reviews for Best Kept Secrets|
| CloudsOfRabbits 3/24/12 . chapter 1
Oh the boy-angst. Gotta love it.
I'm dying for the rest of this.
| Jane 3/12/12 . chapter 1
Wow, I'm really glad to hear there is more to this latest Quan/Derik episode! Great chapter - the flashback scene was so sweet, and the end scene was really well done... It would be interesting to learn more about Quan background/home life too (I hope Derik eventually learns some respect for Nainai :)). Thanks, & can't wait for more of these guys!
| Shady Shinigami 1/19/12 . chapter 1
No! I hate waiting! Nergs. Please hurry and update!
| Annie 1/2/12 . chapter 1
I.. I... *snicker* Quan is like my soul, but Derik is definitely my heart. I am the swooning attendant, and shall remain so for a long while. :) Can't wait to see more from you, it's excellent.
| Bedlam Chaos 12/25/11 . chapter 1
Is it normal I want to shake Derik by his shoulders to put some sense into him? Com'on guy. I know you're only seventeen but how can you be so f***ing dense. Quan on the other side is adorable :P and smart :P and seems good-looking so cheers for him.
Thanks btw for the story (or the series). :-)
| Emerald Dragon77 12/15/11 . chapter 1
| Ibbit 12/14/11 . chapter 1
3 This is equally amusing as the second one. Maybe more so. I love your characters and the personalities that you've given them. These are all very well written.
| DawnSister 12/13/11 . chapter 1
As always, love reading about Derik and Quan and their complicated relationship.
I like the flashback scene. Sometimes people write flashbacks in italics to set them apart from the rest of the story, that's probably something I would have done.
I wasn't confused by it though, because you explained in the first few words that they were younger. It was obviously a flashback and fit very well into the story. It gave the two main characters more depth and explained their bond a little better.
I'm glad you're thinking of writing a little more about these two. I am enjoying it.
| S.H. Marr 12/11/11 . chapter 1
These two are so cute in an angsty way. (I'm too lazy to review all of the oneshots, so you'll just have to deal with one. Sorry?)
I think I like Quan's perspective more, but I think that's because I relate to him better. Derik is annoying. Also, I'd like to see mroe of them getting along non-sexually, because...well...it's hard to see why they care about each other so much, especially when you see Quan with his girlfriend.
Can't wait to see more.
| Roy42 12/8/11 . chapter 1
Jeus Christie; I finished the third one of these and the fourth comes out when I'm halfway done with penning the review in my head. Possibly my fault for having something akin to a panic attack while I was trying to read it, but whatever.
Quan… Sounds familiar… Oh hey, I know that guy! …No, wait; I'm thinking of a /different/ high school Asian football player. Of course. *cough*
Okay, so at the end of the first one of these DQ pieces, I liked it. I mean, I came, so I /assume/ I enjoyed it on some level. A slightly worn, but still perfectly acceptable and kinda plausible path for two guys to becoming buddies. Oh, and they're /both/ footballers? Could hardly have told, from the way Quan acts not even /slightly/ tough at any point.
At the end of the second one, I was kinda getting some low-level warning lights going off on Derik's character, and, to a lesser extent, Quan's. Also: what the kind of coach lets their athletes eat fast food at /halftime/? Is that seriously a thing that happens at sports games in America? You people are /crazy/! A hotdog and slice of pizza is going to destroy someone having to play sports for another however long the game would have left. I haven't played sports as a regular thing since 2005, but still, even /I/ know that's a dumb thing to do.
By the end of the third one, in addition to some more stressing warning lights going off about the characters — and take note of the fact that I choose not to put air quotes around them at the moment — I was kinda getting concerns about the overarching story itself, though at the very least, this fourth instalment seems to be clearing that one up by possibly making some actual advances with the gorram plot, since round after round of hot, hot action between two muscly teenagers that are incredibly introspective for guys whose hormones haven't balanced out yet in risqué, unimportant-about-how-we-got-here-or-really-what-t he-setup-is locations can only get you so far.
Make no mistake, it can get you pretty far indeed, but it can't carry you the entire way if you are actually spending time establishing events beyond "check out those guys; mmm-MM!"
And you, of course, /are/ doing just that. So yes, I'm kinda hoping that with this latest piece, things might start to escalate between them, because Jegus knows, I want something definitive to happen to them, positive or negative. Endless "we could get caught and our relationship is super awkward and hard to deal with so obviously the sane thing to do is continue doing it in secret" scenarios grow thin, /real quickly/. Like, their novelty is worn off.
And that's probably why this one appeals to me so much; or "would appeal to me," I should say, bringing me to those warning lights I mentioned.
I don't want to bring up inconsistency in the characters, because I'm not feeling great mentally and I'd probably do a job of explaining what I meant, but I take issue with Derik.
I swear (see?) that we, as a species, bred smartly, so that characters and people /that/ stereotypical only exist in the darkest corners of the world and overly-simplified, childish Disney movies. And in politics. And Texas.
… America (oh, did I say that out loud?).
In any case, a lot of things grate on my nerves. I cannot imagine, outside of fiction, the last time I /ever/ saw anyone in the world be as much of a manipulative, racially and sexually and generally insensitive, clichéd, sex-driven walking wall of meat as Derik. For the life of me, I cannot.
I mean, seriously? "Find yourself a stupider girlfriend"? "Ching-chong"? /Are you serious?
I just…/Nothing/ about him makes me honestly want to see him and Quan end up together. I really don't. And I'm pretty sure that, with him as one of the two main characters, that's what I'm supposed to be feeling. Oh, but there was a flashback showing him as a little … Which is why I added "clichéd" to that list of adjectives.
This is the 21st century, nobody honestly behaves that way or lets another person behave that way to them. And if you honestly know somebody /that much/ of a complete , do me a favour: promptly smack him upside the head, give him my address, tell him that a guy on the Internet hates his guts and that I am so waiting for him; bring it on.
Again, kinda stressed (and this is FF, where I have a limit on characters for some reason), so my usual divulgence into how much Derik irritates me can't really continue beyond this. I don't know how to make clear enunciation come across in text, but I am enunciating when I say that I do not enjoy his character. No appeal; he has a and that helps the erotica happen. Beyond that, nothing, with the slight possibility that Quan finally calling him out on his in the next few instalments will make him more of a character and less of a "character".
By contrast, that would suggest that I /do/ enjoy Quan, and find him to be a good character with plenty of appeal.
Well, I do think he does, at least, have character. Moreso than Derik. I enjoy him slightly… He's slightly appealing…
But for 's sake, how is this guy actually a football player? He apparently has /no/ backbone, is as emotionally strong as a Zelda fan who's just seen their first piece of Furry!Link fanart, and apparently speaks everything in a flat or sarcastic tone.
As much of a double-standard as it is for me to complain that he isn't being enough of a macho man, literally twenty seconds after I finished complaining about his boyfriend-but-not-really-look-you-don't-understand -it's-really-complicated-and-we-don't-talk-about-i t-that-much-but-it-feels-so-good-can-we-just-drop- it-you're-making-me-uncomfortable-Nanna being /too much/ of a macho man, there hasn't really been anything said about Quan's character in the story to indicate just exactly /why/ he was made the linebacker.
I just can't help but feel like I'm not reading a story about two football players, each with their own wholly unique identities and interesting characteristics and personal arcs to go through… wait… This is porn! Literally, it is porn! Why am I even talking about these things like they should matter?
Well, possibly because they should, and again, because such focus has been given /to/ the characters that it's clear that you want them to be more than just excuses to get to the sexxxytiems.
But the point is that I keep having to remind myself that I'm not reading another piece of erotic fiction where the two main characters are high schoolers; one a blond quarterback whose name begins with a "D" and the other a sarcastic/deadpan ethnic boy. The fact that they both talk remarkably similar to the two I keep having to remind myself that they are /not/ doesn't really help, either. But digressing on /that/ particular subject would involve discussing the character inconsistencies, and now I can't do that simply because of how much room I have left in this review, as much as being too stressed to concentrate enough about that.
On a technical level, it's perfectly sound (of course it is), with the general variety of colourful language — which is to say, colourfully descriptive, not just swearing, though since it's porn, that is obviously true as well — and lengthy exchanges of dialogue between characters that flows with the general consistency of an actual conversation that I love and have come to expect from you.
So why am I even bringing it up, if I'm to take it as a given that that would be true? Because I wanted /something/ definitively positive to say about this, since for the most part it seems like I've just been about the whole thing.
It just feels like I've read enough stories that contain enough parts of what this story is to be kinda bored with the result. But listen to me; what the right do I even /have/ to be acting way more jaded than /anybody/ my age can possibly hope to imagine being?
Like I've already said before, it's ridiculously hot where it counts, and while the characters aren't the strongest you've ever written — though these are the /first/ actual original characters I've seen you write, now that I think about it — they do have the same relatively charming character moments that you generally deliver that, at the very least, play to those characters' strengths, on-my-nerves as they may be.
And for Christian Slater's sake, in comparison to some of the stuff I've read in the last six months on the Internet (including my own stuff), this might as well be the works of Tolkien himself.
And, yet again, it's just porn, despite the current verge towards lemony fluff. Nobody should /really/ be thinking this hard about it at any point; just shoving their hands in their pants and desperately hoping that if somebody /does/ intrude accidentally, they do so /before/ the thrilling climax; not after.
…Or during. That would also be a bad time to be disturbed.
| one of those deaf-mutes 12/7/11 . chapter 1
Look at you, posting things left and right! Oh what I would give to be able to write-or rather FINISH what I write-half as frequently as you do.
Yeah, I love it as usual. So I'll try not to rave too much about how awesome it is, since you must already know.
So, characters. Derik and Quan are just so... gah, adorable. Especially as naive children; Quan's misunderstandings were definitely good for a few giggles.
Aside from those two, though, I'm liking the way you've portrayed their girlfriends, Chloe in particular. Usually I tend to see slash where the girlfriend is the bitchy antagonist with the personality of a brick, just there to serve as an easily-disposable impediment to the boys' romance. Perhaps Lorene is somewhat like this in that Derik doesn't really like her, but it actually works with the nature of their relationship. But Chloe is more likeable, which is refreshingly realistic (my only complaint about her would be that her dialogue seems a little unnatural... she talks too much like an encyclopedia for me.) Basically, what I'm trying to say is she WORKS as impediment, since she's actually someone Quan likes instead of just... well, a generic pair of boobs.
... I hope that made sense outside of my head. My brain is all over the place.
Excellent work, and I'll be anxiously awaiting the next installment.
- one of those deaf-mutes
| HeavensOnFire 12/7/11 . chapter 1
OHSNAP. I am so excited right now. There are no words to describe how excited I am right now. The reason I am excited is, I saw your update, and I thought I would choke on air. You probably know this, but I am completely infatuated with you and this story and these characters. No, not infatuated, in love. I still, haven't even started reading it yet!
(I can just imagine kid Quan's face when he says "There's cake?" in probably the most adorable way, with the most adorable face)
Oh my god, I feel like such a pedophile right now to want to run up to kid Quan and Derik and hug the fucking shit out of them. So cute!
Derik -facepalm- you stupid ass. Literally, your sadly really stupid. But I love that.
Nnff, I bet Quan does look hot shooting a gun. Oh my god, that girl, luckiest person ever and she doesn't even know it.
Okay, done. I swear to god, I cannot wait for the next story, chapter, whatever. I'm literally flipping. If I was you, I would congratulate myself for making such an amazing story. You add so much feeling into it. I can almost feel it emitting off this story. You add the perfect amount of suspense, and angst, and fluff, and just want. I do think I even have to tell you how amazing it is. You should know. What is this, I should be studying for my finals but now you've got me thinking about this story! Just to let you know, I sometimes zone out in class or when talking to friends to go off into this world, I'll call it the world of Quan and Derik.
Also, thank you for having the time to write these. I know I'm busy, yet you update so quickly! Especially with the end of the semester and winter breaking coming. Please keep writing these for as long as you can.
| Mikazukiful 12/7/11 . chapter 1
Awwwww! Quan! I love it! Please update this i would love to know what happens! Maybe Chloe saw or Lorane and thhey go on a personal vendeta to ruin their relationship! I just dont know, thats your job! :) Good WOrk!
| FiggThe3rd 12/7/11 . chapter 1
Really good chapter!
Please write and update soon!
| auel 12/6/11 . chapter 1
i think i reviewed paper tiger, but i wanna say i love this series..
but i always had the impression that derik would be the taller one (quarterback) and quan would be the slightly-shorter-but-broader one (linebacker)...
its so weird imagining in my head quan being the taller one haha