|Reviews for Small Dark Spaces|
| Thirteen Chances 3/21/12 . chapter 2
I like this story a lot. It was real and interesting. I love brothercest and all that happy relationship stuff, but this story showed the reality of what happens in response to feelings of this nature between siblings. I loved it to death. My first sentence of this review was a phenomenal understatement. Awesome job -
| Big Boots Man Of War 12/17/11 . chapter 1
*gasp* Oh my gosh! This is so intriuging! I am so glad people are starting up new brothercests. I cannot live without them :P
I really enjoyed the first part, with the "often"s. That was cool! And oh my gosh, how could you leave it at that cliffie? Are you trying to kill us all? :P
Don't worry about the section breaks, btw. I have trouble with them too; it's so fristrating. But I am really enjoying this so far, so I hope you update soon! :D
| AshleyLongbottom 12/17/11 . chapter 1
Well first off, I was afraid that your super-short paragraphs were going to be too choppy, but after awhile the story's pace develops this kind of crisp rhythm that flows well. Each sentence has a lot of punch, a lot of emotion. You did a great job developing suspense as to the contents of the nightmare -each scene where Kole wakes up, we get a little bit more information about the dream. You have a super clean, minimalist writing style, which is quite refreshing, since a lot of writers will try to get too "wordy". You stick to readable sentences that sound graceful and elegant. You also did a good job giving the mom character without making her too important.
If I might now offer some constructive criticism: I know it's a one-shot so you don't have a lot of room for lots of small details, but I kind of wish I had a stronger sense of Kole and Cam's current relationship. Since it's about to change in a big way, it would be nice to know where it's at right now, or how it's been in the past. I don't know if they hang out together at all, how old they are, if they've always shared a room, etc.
By the way, huge props to you for taking on incest. I'd love to write an gay incest story but haven't quite gotten the guts for it yet. So far you've handled it with lots of artistic grace, rather than taking the easy way out and just being raunchy.
| Julio C.Y 12/16/11 . chapter 1
Really good story and the ending caught me completely by surprise. I was pretty into it for the most part and empathized with Kole as I to suffer from chronic nightmares (though not for the same reason). I really didn't know what exactly to expect. For some reason I got a sort of supernatural feel from the story and I was expecting it focus on this but the way it played was pretty good. I honestly did not see the ending coming and it was a good twist. It really shows what people with these sorts of issues go through and it's sad society puts so much stress on them. Overall, I'd say it's a great story, very well written. It kept me interesting throughout and surprised me at the end. It's easy to follow. Really well done. Sorry for not going more in depth but I'll be honest, I'm sort of a newbie so I wouldn't want to sound dumb and give weird advice. Good job though, it's the first story I read on fictionpress and I'm glad it was a good one.