I love your story, Why I didn't read it soon? :/
I hope you could update so I can read the next chapter. I'm very curios of what happen next. And, I want you to know that I love Brendon. Yea, and Toby... and maybe Myth isn't a bad person at all.

Just one advise, try to write it a bit clearly. I've got confused often when I read your work, but, mind me.. heh, Just continue writing! :D

PIRAAAANAAAAAA

She thought it would be funny...

lmao I love Toby XD. FINALLY Myth appears. Been thinking about that king throughout the story and if he was ever going to appear as a solid character. and he did :S Also I wanted to ask you something. I was wondering if the other sins have knights too and if they're alive. Because I've never heard about the knight of pride and sloth or the knight of Greed. Nice story and I can't wait to see what happens now that Brendon finally meets Myth o_o human v spirit fight!

Whoa...myth...this is kingdom of madness...random shit myth

This is getting really involving :) brendon's the king! I totally saw that coming :) but what about toby? Why does he owe brendon his life?

Lol. This is great. "...you throw them a tea part?" "Ding ding ding!" Rotfl.

Your right, the pacing works perfectly. :)

Syntax is off...its lethal, love. I suggest getting a beta to work with you on that.

So I'm rereading this and have I ever told you that you're brilliant at plotting? And I can see why greed wanted his rape scene :)

Lol

Em: You're a knight of kindness now, Toby!

Toby: Yay!

Leah: No you're still the Knight of Lust.

Toby: *disappointed* awww...

And so more of the pieces fall into place... :)

I really liked this chapter :) and how I have no idea what's going on any more (in a good way). Bendon's a sin? Whoa. I love how you really seem to have the plot all planned out-that's something I'm not really good at-and how you're slowly unraveling the mystery.

One suggestion: more figurative language and descriptions. The pacing of this story is kind of fast, and I feel like sometimes you could slow down and describe things a little more thoroughly. For example, when you describe the scars on May's back, all you say is that "Brendon noticed a mark on her back. They seemed two scars that extended throughout her whole back."-besides being a typo (I'm not sure what "They seemed" means) it doesn't really help the reader picture the scars-we just know they're there. Just something to think about.

Otherwise though, I really liked this chapter. Keep writing :)

I think you're doing a good job. I especially like the Brendon/Wrath interactions, when he's trying to be a good knight and she's insane. :)

rofl "Holly Unicorn Fruits" XD Best line ever! o_o this will and shrit Greed wants to pair up with Wrath o_o spice things up between them ;)

-pervert smile-

OH SNAP! Watch out Wrath! lol xD. And somethings telling me I'm going to love gullible Toby ;)

OOOH This is interesting! xD Good start to your new story! I cant wait till the next chapter!

Oh, I loved your snippets of the different kingdomes and their were interesting and they pulled me into the story. I especially loved the one about the Queen of wrath. Hilarious! I wonder how she broke her curse... hmmm :P

-Nymmie :3

This seems like an interesting start :)