Oh, well... the whole thing with it's disguise was a bit of a let-down. I thought that was gonna be a big plot device. But whatever, still good.

O_o; What's going to happen to Roy...

Well, crap. It's gonna be hard for them to find it, let alone fight it, now it's disguised as a patient...

Good chapter, nothing else to say :)

AHA! MARY IS GOING TO HAVE THE OTHER ELEMENTAL POWER! THIS, I PREDICT! YES.

Right, so, um, my brother played a bit of Persona 4 (I think it was 4) the other day, and, um, I just realized how similar the fake Roy is to the fake Yosuke. He is called Yosuke, isn't he? The guy who gets the fake him tell him how crap he is? So, uh, yeah, pretty similar...

Other than that, good chapter. I loved Nina's terrified reaction to Piper's skateboard plan XD

Agh, you leave everything on cliffhangers :I

Tony's part was good, it's good to see that normal people are finally starting to notice this stuff. It'd be good if this stuff with his aunt evolves into maybe Tony's family getting into danger, that'd be an interesting plot twist.
His stutter is REALLY annoying me now. I SWEAR he didn't have that before. Or, at least, not so pronounced. Sorry if I sound whiny, but it's really bothering me :P

I loved Roy's comment about horror movie characters; it's so true. XD I wonder how he'll fight off the DEMON NURSE.

Nina should stop being such an emo. Cutting herself won't solve her problems. XP

Yep, I'm back to my reviewing ways for how ever long it takes me to forget about this story again.
Not much to say on this one, as it's mainly leading onto what happens next. Tony's stutter... I swear he didn't have that before. It's kind of annoying. :P
Still confused as to why Roy is called The Red King. I'm sure there's some significance to it and the story isn't just ginger-ist. :P

So far, I think this story is very interesting! ;D I'm gonna just... keep reading now...

I really like the plot

CCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOCLLLLLLLLLL LL!

I dunno why Tony, Nina, etc. were so shocked that Knightmare injured a deer when he's been freakin' ABDUCTING PEOPLE for the last couple weeks. But whatever.

So, Knightmare is getting more powerful, eh? Looks like he's finally interacting with Roy, hmm? (I am right, he hasn't interacted with him before?) Interesting. We'll see how this goes.

Nina obviously has a lot of issues going on as well...

"A few minutes later she was done. She bangs were now at the side and she put her hands on her hips and posed like Superman. "Now I can really be a warrior without those bangs hindering me!" Piper proudly announced before a realization hit here full force. "Why did Nina tell me to get those bangs out of the way when she has one that covers most of her eye?!" She screamed before sighing. "I'll never understand that girl."

I just had to quote this, because, ugh, the TYPOS. SHE bangs? Hit HERE full force?! Sorry for whining, it just takes away from the plot a bit. :I

Anyway, I'm intrigued as to what Nina's surprise is. But. I guess we'll have to wait 'til after the monster battle.

I forgot about the god names. "Thunderious?" Really? :I

Anyway, other than that, good chapter. And end of an arc, yay! Hopefully soon they can stop this whole Monster of the Week plot thing that's going on. You know, so far it's all been "we train in a forest, we get attacked by a monster, we kill it" with Knightmare's psychological stuff in the background. Not that I have a problem with that, but it'd be nice for them to start out on the main journey, or whatever... there is gonna be one, right? The whole story can't be like this, can it?

Anyway, good work. :P

One thing I like about this story is it's easy to get back into. I don't know why, but you can familiarize yourself with everything that's happened without having to read back (which was useful form e, as I haven't read it in, like, two weeks.

Good job setting up the tone of the factory, I liked that. I also like that Nina always seems to get knocked over by things when she tries to attack :P
That was pretty stupid on Piper's part there. I mean, I expect that overconfidence from Roy, but not her. I kind of always saw her as the happy medium between Tony's (questionable) cowardice and Roy's blind confidence. But maybe I just got them all wrong in my head, idk.

As for improvements, just my usual pacing and spelling issues, nothing major. (Seriously, if you read these reviews, and you have time on your hands, go back and edit these chapters for typos, it would help a lot. Some of them are at pretty crucial points in the plot.)

Good stuff, though I was a bit disappointed at the lack of Knightmare's torture. His scene with Tony was pathetic compared to Piper's, really, and we didn't even see him interact with Roy. And after all that build-up. Still, I'm sure that'll happen later.

Also... training montage seems a bit forced. Like, you're trying to write a movie or something. Even though it's a story. If that makes sense. Like, I could hear the A team theme playing over it in my head. :P

Last thing, why is Roy referred to as "The Red King." Tony is "the coward" and Piper is "the tomboy" which makes sense because these are the things they need to overcome to get rid of Knightmare's psychological attacks. But... the Red King? Surely "the loner" or something would make more sense? Unless Roy's weakness is that he's ginger. :P

Oh, ye olde psychological attack. Gotta love it.
Piper reminds me a lot of her namesake from the Heroes of Olympus series. Was that intentional, or...?

Anyway, this is done quite well. Could use a bit of subtlety, but then, that's just my opinion.
Also, I'm shocked that Roy didn't use his powers to take out the crow monsters. Because that was so obviously what was going to happen, from what I could see. You've managed to fool me again :I

Um... don't really understand why Piper and Tony suddenly can't hold their swords all of a sudden, but I'm guessing it's to do with the voice in Piper's head (which is presumably Knightmare or some other force of evil.) Also because Roy needs his time in the spotlight now; I'm guessing this is when his powers awaken (no duh, Sherlock.)

It's nice to see Nina is training them properly now, and not against monsters that will kill and eat them; although these still have shown up, it would seem. :P
It'd be interesting to know what Nina's powers are; she presumably has them, as she knows an awful lot about them for someone who doesn't, but she only seems to use only her bow all the time for some reason. Mind you, knowing me, I've probably got completely the wrong end of the stick and she doesn't have any at all, or it's been mentioned already. Or both. :I

Also, I looked at the reviews, and I posted a horribly sarcastic anonymous one on this chapter a while back that I'd completely forgotten it. Please delete it, it's frankly offensive :P