OMG,, I laughed soooo much at this. It's amazing!

Nooooooooo not the end whyyyyyyy!?

Man, I really love this story! Puh-leeeeeaaaaaase update more chapters. I AM DYINGGGGGGG vdksjcwhskfhjsksjhdjdksk

Heh, I love this. I don't care for Roseline, though. *glares*

Most excellent! Ha-ha. What's so brilliant about this is that the characters are very excentric, but all very different - kudos to you! I regularly find that characters are very same-y in most stories - so this was a nice change. I basically started reading and couldn't stop! In a short summary: it's great fun, you've got interesting plot twists, engaging dialogues, aaand you write really well. Well done you!

Sorry for the essay. But, as you can see, I really liked this :)
-the clockwork doll

NOOOOO WHY ARE THERE NO MORE CHAPTERSSSSS!? Dude, R-Kelley TOTALLY reminds me of this boy in my school... And BTW, Bro Dog is an epic name ;D PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

Heh. I think I like R-Kelley. AND OMG IT WAS SLENDERMAN! My sister is obsessed with him, she made me draw a pic of him even. :/

Oh my god…the slender man is spoo creepy!

love this story the characters the deatail the stroy line and the title of the story!man if i was a publisher this would have been on the shelfs a long time i have a litle bit of luck here since someone is so amazing can you reveiw my story and possibly give some feed back for improvement or good thing in the story :)

Mate but this story has nothing wrong with and you shall cary on! you have wrote allot

Well.. This was... Something else entirely.

There's alot of self-inflicted crotch grabbing here but what kind of good humored DOSENT have crotch grabbing.

Anyway, cool story bro.

Even if I'm completely lost at the moment xD

If this story involves the slender man, then you better start getting to him. Nobody wants to hear about a retarded seventeen year old. Seven chapters; you're getting nowhere.

Kind of a cool concept, the situation of, young people have to get jobs to prolong their vacation (unless it's an anime-ripoff - could be an anime ripoff, but might not be). Maybe could move faster?

The non-anime elements reminded me of a film called Palo Alto. Check it out, it might be on Netflix Instant. It's also about large groups of young people having kind of mundane hijinx. It wasn't supposed to be funny, but I think you will see the humor in it.

If you continue to write about characters like Al, and wish to make a film involving similar characters, have I got the actor for you: cast/caronmonroe/ He acts like he looks and is always a delight off-camera.-

"a balding man in polo shirt with a newspaper in hand said from behind her" ? a neighbor guy? oh...

I don't know if that was intentional or not.

I think I might get your sense of humor. Like if the number of characters and physical descriptions of them are intended to be funny.

This is an interesting idea. I hope you update soon.

It actually sounds pretty good to me.

It's got this Hollywood teenage movie element going on, but I'm okay with that.