|Reviews for When The Last Petal Falls|
| PotterPower 7/9/12 . chapter 1
Wow, very short, but I like it. This reminds me of Game of Thrones (I'm only on page 400 of the first book though!) but not knowing whether you've read it or not, I won't make the comparison .
Well, I really do like it. Knight of Young seems like innocence to me, an innocent child trying to be brave - but being unable to see the darkness that surrounds him. That's my favourite line, too. It's like growing up, you try to be brave and noble once you realize you're older, but sometimes you're still blind to what's around you.
I also love the last line, especially "Leave this world when the last petal falls". When I read that, I have this image of an old but strong man gazing sadly at a cold, hard knight dressed in steel armour, while they stand underneath a cherry blossom tree that's losing its flowers. Make of that what you will, I guess... :P
For criticism, I only have a few. You repeated "Knight of Old" twice, so it seems odd. I think if you wanted to keep both, it would be fine, just make the first line "Knight of old, bury your sword, look at me in the eyes and tell me that you don't care for your own life." I also think you should take out the word 'that' in the sentence, it isn't needed in my opinion. The only other thing I think should be changed is the Knight of Death sentence. You repeat the word 'world' twice in it, and is sounds odd to me - perhaps change the second 'world' to 'land'? I think it would work the same :)
But overall, I did enjoy the poem. Quite a lot to think about in only a few words; it's beautiful :)
| Dulcina 3/7/12 . chapter 1
Only a few words but still so complex!
I feel that this is an allegory for death... of humanity, which is what defines mankind, but is slowly ebbing away into something more primeval, more barbaric, until all is left no more.
The 'knight of old' could be symbolic of men who are so experienced ('old' age experience) with the art of war and destruction, whereas 'knight of young' represents innocence.
Dawn could be hope, which is trying to reach out to the hearts of the people but is slowly dying.
Death could literally be death or the Grim Reaper, scouring the world bathed in the afterglow of war.
Storm could be the utter chaos and havoc that mankind has wrought upon this earth, ruining it for all others that hope to exist. Or it could be the war itself, which could explain why it has to leave the world when the last petal falls. If the 'last petal' is the last breath drawn by man, then once it falls the war would end once and for all.
Because there is no more.
I'm reading too much into it, aren't I? But I like the idea it represents. The poignant sorrow it exudes is remarkable. Good job! :)
| ConverseAllStar 3/3/12 . chapter 1
That was a really good poem. I especially love the last two lines. 'And leave this world when the last petal falls.' I really do love that phrase.
You used knight of old twice, and it was the only one you did that with, so it just felt a little weird while reading it.
Yet again, love this.