|Reviews for The Ten Rings|
| Guest 11/30/12 . chapter 1
Your story is good. But you use Max way too much, try and edit the story and replace it with something else
| Do Play With Fire 3/10/12 . chapter 5
Very interesting story, but a little more character development could be useful, even though it can be hard to add. Proofreading would also be good, and how old is Max.
| athos-aramis 2/16/12 . chapter 2
A nice flow to this one. Very good dialogue. Same suggestion as the last chapter plus maybe add in a little more description of the world around Max? I have my idea of what it looks like, but its largely based on assumption. Just a thought!
| athos-aramis 2/16/12 . chapter 1
I like the idea of the story but you say Max a lot! One suggestion would be to maybe go back and edit some of that with "he" instead. It would make it easier to read! Well, off to chapter 2 :)
| graphiteXVII 1/9/12 . chapter 1
the voice of the story is too wavy because of too much comma phrases. however, the story is good.
| Sukiam6 1/8/12 . chapter 1
Writing Style Report by Sukiam6 for The Ten Rings
Word Variation Score: 43/100
Most overused words: had, it/there, was/were
Cliché phrases: “in the dark”, “the thing”
Return a review and I’ll do a report on your next piece of writing.
“Most important are the words that make the story.”