|Reviews for The Gamepiece Chronicles|
| Nightmare's Accomplice 4/23/13 . chapter 15
...Jeez, I'm blown. Awesome chapter!
| Archia 3/22/13 . chapter 14
So now that I'd read chapter 7 again I can read this one. I think the change are interesting, I like them. Anyway, onto reading.
That was tense. Actually it still is tense, that really ended at a good cliff-hanger point. I really enjoyed that big fight scene, it was really intense and eventful; it was very well done. At the beginning though, I felt like it was almost a bit of an anti-climax, but beginning instead of ending. When Slade's followers came it was just like it happened, and there wasn't a big build up of excitement. One thing I was wondering was how did they get alchohol, the place just seems a bit too rigid for them to be able to get alchohol.
Anyway this was an exciting seventh day, during the actual fight it was built up very well and I like how Amethyst helped, she's not so heartless anymore. Oh and I loved how this figure turned up, who I'm guessing is Malyss. That's going to be fun.
| Archia 2/19/13 . chapter 13
I'm annoyed at myself because I mustn't of taken in the alert properly so it's taken me ages to get this; I'm really sorry for taking so long.
Anyway, I liked all the dialogue in this. Before I read it I was worried that because of all the dialogue it might be a bit hard to follow because there's a few characters but it wasn't at all, and you even pretty much avoided he said she saids. So it was really nice and I enjoyed reading it.
I'm still interested in Adelaide, I want to know what's going to happen to her!
And now I really want to know more what's going to happen on the Seventh Day. I like how right now several options have been brought up on what they can do but none of them have been settled on and it makes me really want to know which option they'll choose, or if something else will come up.
Oh you reached the 15000 word mark, congratulations on that. That's quite a decent bit now and it's reallt progressing well. I can't wait for the next chapter (and this time I'm not going to miss the alert.)
| Nightmare's Accomplice 1/4/13 . chapter 13
Hey, nice chapter!
| Archia 12/20/12 . chapter 12
This chapter really made it feel like a novel, not that it didn't really like a novel before, but this chapter really really did, maybe because it's getting further and further along.
I liked how Adelaide appeared again in this chapter; is she going to die? Actually, it's probably better if you don't answer that, but that's what I'm wondering right now. If she seems in such a bad state, I think it will make for something interesting.
The little fight scene at the end got me confused a little. I couldn't figure out who was speaking at the beginning, it made sense further on but I had to read it a few times. I do like though how Slade was stood up to, I wonder what's going to happen in the next week.
I'm quite pumped for the next chapter, it's progressing so nicely, and certainly getting more interesting.
| Nightmare's Accomplice 11/29/12 . chapter 12
I love this story... I really do.
It's fine, I know exactly how you feel about updating...
| Archia 10/5/12 . chapter 11
Just first, I've never heard of that game you based a bit of the last chapter on. But it sounds fun, I could imagine spending a lot of time playing with that.
Out of every ending and cliffhanger and all that, this was the last line that I've liked the most. It was just so ominous and the way he wants 'it' alive. Not just anything, 'it.'
What I'm liking is how I'm getting the individual voices of the character's in my head. I don't know if there the one's you intended but they still seem so right for the character'. So I'm really liking that.
I was just wondering about something, are there any adult mutants, or is it just teenagers? Because I realised that the only adults mentioned really were the evil people.
On the summary, I quite like that new summary; it's shorter, but it's hooking. It makes me feel like I want to know about these 'adaptions' and the whole world in general. And that's what I get from it and I've know how this world and adaptions.
One question; how far through is this? Is it a quarter through, half through, a one millionath through? Or do you have no idea and just seeing how it goes?
I loved the tension that was created in this chapter, and it really built in the first part and just carried on to the second.
So I'm getting quite excited, I still want to know what happened to Adelaide, but I like how it didn't go right into it. I think it's getting better as more goes along.
| Archia 9/21/12 . chapter 10
Oh gosh what's happened to Adelaide? I was wondering if she would come back, alive or dead, and she's alive at the moment, just it seems. So I hope you at some point go into what's happened to her, because I think I might otherwise burst from wanting to know.
I have no idea what that game is, absolutely no idea. Not even a small part of it seems familar. But it does seem like quite an interesting game indeed.
I like how this chapter told a bit more about the history, and I liked the way it was done. I think it was a pretty smart way. I feel sorry for these mutants, none of it was there fault, and this seems like such a horrible situation to be in.
I'm excited to read the next chapter.
| Ohm 9/18/12 . chapter 1
There should have been some sort of tragedy instead of givin himself away in ch1. It would provide material he could think about later in the story
| Thirteenth Circle 9/18/12 . chapter 11
I like it.
Nice descriptions, the story really flows, and the ideas behind it are solid. I hope you keep updating!
| Nightmare's Accomplice 9/16/12 . chapter 11
He wants it alive... Duh duh dunnnnnn... Awesome story bro.
| Archia 8/9/12 . chapter 9
I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get to this, I've been really busy lately.
That end has left me really transfixed, which I'm actually kind of surprised at because it's not particularly a cliffhanger or anything. But it's really left me wanting to know more.
I quite liked this chapter and how quite a few new things were introduced. There was the gym, a bit more of the routine, more on Avalonia and then this thing between Dayn and Kodar. How exciting, it actually was exciting.
I like seeing the different ways these characters react to thing, like to the protein bars, it says a lot more about them.
Well can't wait for the next chapter.
| Milo.Tsubame 7/20/12 . chapter 9
Hello! As I've promised, I shall always return the favor of a review to a fellow aspiring author!
Firstly, I love the plot and the direction it's headed. The discrimination of the Jonathon and the other mutants is a great platform to write off of, and easy to relate to. As well, I like how you incorporated unique names, truly making the story of your own world. The characters are interesting, especially the easy-going Flynn and Amethyst with her 'fiery' personality.
Now for the hard part...I believe you have the same problem as I do - the endings. Nearly half the chapter endings result in the same situation; either Jonathon passing out, or sleeping (Chapters 1,2,4, and 7). Not saying that this is a bad thing, but refraining from finishing future chapters with a similar situation can help. Also, you have a slight POV change - from third person to first - in chapter 6 (my apologies for stating that here in chapter 9, I shall be continuing on by chapter from now on): "Plain gray carpet stretched for as far as I could see."
All in all however, your story is amazing and there are very little to none grammar errors (my pet peeve). The shift to the antagonists in chapter 8 was very clever and a nice change in mood. Malyss is quite the intriguing character! I also can't wait to see how Jonathon's power develops because it certainly feels like it's going to be extraordinary, even amongst the already extraordinary mutant powers. I'll be looking forward to your new updates!
| Archia 6/30/12 . chapter 8
I just gotta say something about the previous chapter first. In my review I said "Last thing, you ten to overuse comments" I meant 'commas' instead of 'comments.' I'm sorry I don't know why I did that wrong. But maybe you realised that because commas aren't really overused in this chapter.
Anyway, I really quite enjoyed this chapter, actually I think I'm just enjoying it more as it progressed. But I found this chapter really strong. It was short, but strong.
Oh I want to know what's going to happen with Adelaide and with it all, I just want to know now.
It's interesting how Malyss is a hybrid and not a normal person. I want to know how she develops. Just one question, how do you pronous her name. I imagine it either like 'malice' or 'malis'. Doesn't really matter though.
I like the charcter Iago, well I don't like him because he's the bad guy, but I like his character, he's interesting because he seems to have a bit of sympathy in him, instead of being all cold-hearted.
I'm so excited for the next chapter.
| Emptiness-Is-All-You-Know 6/26/12 . chapter 8
Glad to see your back! :D
Another great chapter. Good plot progression as usual and great descriptions etc :D What a cliffhanger :D Can't wait for chapter nine!