|Reviews for Liquid Hell|
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 3/24/12 . chapter 1
The plot and concept behind all this is very good. You're obviously a very talented writer. There are a few problems I found here, namely sentence structure and tense problems. The sentences are very complicated with a lot of modifying phrases. It makes your story harder to understand. But it's an easy mistake to make, and an even easier one to fix. And the tense problems? You waver between present and past tense throughout the story, which again is really easy to fix. Just pick one and fix all the verbs and stuff.
This is intriguing work.