"She knew I wouldn't hit her back, if there's one thing in the world I won't do its hit a woman, so she just kept going and going until I was on the floor" it should be: "She knew I wouldn't hit her back. If there's one thing in the world that I won't do, it's hitting a woman, so she just kept going and going until I was on the floor."

"only with him so she could use his money, and so he stole the car, that he bought her, and drove it into a river." money, so he stole the car that he bought her and drove it into the river

"I was glad I opened the door quietly though because Aunt Aylea" a comma after though

the weird thing also is when i read about the abuse and the alcohol stuff, i can see it so clearly. partly cause of you writing, partly because of, well you know XD abuse isn't hard for me to picture.

but it's all really good XD

"You're nothing, but a pain in my ass." remove the comma this time XD

""Why is my hand made of rainbos"." it should be: "Why is my hand made of rainbows?"

that about it

it's weird, because its written really well, but you feel the dudes numbness, which makes it a weird thing to read. good, but odd XD

"If someone doesn't want to talk about something then they don't." a comma after something

it's good, but maybe a bit more dialogue?

Woah, this is great! I can't wait to read the rest!

awww... sadness XD

"To shocked." too*

" People told me not to blame myself, because, I was only ten and they didn't expect me to do anything, but I still felt horrible, to see my Mom slowly dying and not knowing what to do." remove the comma after myself

and its good. sad, but its good. thumbs up!

yup yup

REVIEW! see, i really was reading it XD

it's good, stable and right to the point ;)

I kinda had to think of J with the cindy girl who's a huge slut XD lol

continue writing you rock...can't wait :D