Like woah. Dramatic. Awesome

meesa likes! Meesa likes!

u had to, didnt u? U had to go and make a mark owens reference. Otherwise, cool chappie

Not bad, but it didn't really grab me. Nothing really happened and I don't care if Matt has a girlfriend named Leila. The story definitely needs a stronger hook. I liked the writing style, though it would have benefited from sentences with different structures and more description. For example, I know nothing about either of these guys' appearances, only that Mark is looking for a soul mate.

I liked the chapter very well written. Why do English people say mom mum? (From america!}

I love the last sentence of your prologue it really ties it all in why you would make it like that. I like the feeling of the story, almost mystery.

ooh, want to see where you're going with this. it's summer here by the way...

This is a good start. It seems very plot based and very rushed. I would suggest going back and expanding on your ideas. Like why did they have detention? What are some characteristics of the characters? What's the setting? Try incorporating some imagery and other lit devices. The goal for any story is to have the reader see and feel what the characters see and feel. It's a good Idea for a story though. PM me if you need any help :)

BlackRosesFreedom

Awesome start Emma. Update soon.