|Reviews for Tenderhearted|
| ImmanenceEnsured 2/15/12 . chapter 9
Sweet sweet love!
| Honunjama 2/14/12 . chapter 9
You know, I really like seeing Paul gaining confidence with Tobias when he tells Tobias to look at him. It shows a different aspect of his peronality shining through.
I'm interested in what new direction you're going to take this
| Faerydae 2/13/12 . chapter 9
Finally geesh lol. Been waiting for an update since the last chapter haha. Stop ending chapters on cliffhangers :p Oh and update soon.
| ImmanenceEnsured 2/11/12 . chapter 8
Paul is a bit creepy in a nice way. The way he sort of stalks Tobias in- and outside his head and doesn't give up, even when treated like trash. (what’s Tobias' problem anyways?) Also Paul’s trail of thoughts really amuses me. He thinks about random things in a simple, cute way.
I love the ‘Religion of China’ class. Didn’t know such a thing even existed. ‘Are you drinking the tea or is the tea drinking you’ made me smile:)
The detail of the two extra girls is nice too. Monique’s a real bitch, which I like, it makes her interesting. Only the main girlfriend talks too much and seems to lack a decent personality, but maybe that's just me.
However, I’m frustrated that you skip so many personal parts between Paul and Tobias! You say: ‘They hung out and kept on hanging out’ but you don't write about the actual hanging out! I only warmed up to Tobias in chapter 6 because of that.
But then! Paul insults him! I was so shocked! How could he say something like: ‘You think you’re so great’ Aw Paul, how bitchy! Luckily Tobias came back. I suspect he needs Paul a lot more than Paul thinks he does. And that's sweet. This story seems to get more interesting with every chapter:) Keep it up!
| ImmanenceEnsured 2/11/12 . chapter 1
I knew I'd heard the butterfly story before! At the very beginning of the episode, for all the anime fans out there
| Honunjama 2/11/12 . chapter 8
Yep, there's still a lot of mystery there with Tobias
I liked Paul's frustration with Sandra too.
(Oh, and I probably have a comment about Nayslayre's but I need to think on it)
| Faerydae 2/10/12 . chapter 8
AWWWWWWWWWW YAY! Lol. Tobias is so adorable.
| Astir-Lewis 2/10/12 . chapter 8
Hurry, hurry, hurry! I found this story and was like "Ohmygosh!" I love it! There were a few homophone errors (but less then me so I'll shut my face) but outside of that all smiles, keep it up
| Faerydae 2/8/12 . chapter 7
You horrible person you! Lol. Aww poor Paul :(
| Honunjama 2/8/12 . chapter 7
Aw, I really felt for Paul! You handled that well!
It was such a bad idea for him to ask Tobias out so abruptly- I didn't want him to do it- and now he's shut himself down, it's kinda painful (in a good way).
I don't mind short chapters at all, I think sometimes it's gotta work that way
| PalindromeIsntOne 2/8/12 . chapter 6
I like the subtlety in this chapter. Do I mean subtlety? No, perhaps I mean softness. Actually, perhaps I do mean subtlety. Perhaps both.
I like the new, slight shift in his relationship with Tobias. As in 'but he gave me his friendly eyes' and the silent conversation. Very sweet that Tobias falls asleep, and oooh - what was he swearing for?
I love the quick, humorous, easy depiction of 'Shawn' and his grunts. And quiet thoughts on Angela at the end, reminding us that Tobias isn't the only person around.
I think there's a bit of a past/present tense mix up in the final paragraph. It happens, generally when you're so absorbed in a story it feels like you're kind of there and living it with them - hence, slip into present tense. I've done it myself, as well as accidental 'he/she' to 'I' switches on occasion, often for several sentences before I notice. If you didn't accidentally do that then um...sorry? But it looks like you did. Either way, I've told you something random about myself. Happy Trivia day.
| Miyuki31393 2/7/12 . chapter 6
Question: Where is your guide?
| Honunjama 2/7/12 . chapter 6
Yep, Tobias definitely has my interest now
Girly girls do, however, annoy me, but I think that may be your intention...
Oh and I agree with you about poetry, that was my first love and all I wrote for years...prose is much harder.
| PalindromeIsntOne 2/6/12 . chapter 5
Nice. I like this story so far. Would it sound patronising if I said I can see you developing as a writer? I'm pretty sure you know it too. It's a whole different thing from reading a story and knowing what works to writing. Such fun though.
I like the development in Chapter 4 and 5, learning more about Tobias. It's sort of what you expect but it isn't at the same time, and I look forward to seeing how Tobias develops. I think you handled the time skip well; I didn't bat an eyelid reading over it at all, it just seemed like that was how it was meant to go. As a note, definitely don't fill for filling's sake, but it is possible to make interesting filler if you HAVE to. I've seen it done. As a writer I can always spot it - ah, filler - but it is neeeded for pacing sometimes and normally the author finds a way to make it interesting.
| Honunjama 2/6/12 . chapter 5
A bit of mystery is good, it keeps you turning the page, and I'm feeling it more for Tobias now, and I wasn't really in the beginning- I think I found him too cold.
I liked the little jolt of Paul seeing him with another guy at the party, and I like that Paul seems less shallow now.
High school ends at what, 18? Or is it 16?