Interesting start, although ill admit i found the parts where you abbreviated some words to be displeasing. Example: "but who woulda". I think using would have instead of woulda would have sounded nicer since it sounds like a serious and tragic story, but thats just me. ) Your prologue did draw me in to read more though!

I really like the story. I can't stop reading. Don't stop here, nooo!
I hope you'll continue this once, even though it's been a while. And I really like your writing style! :)

I really liked it! I hope you're able to upload the rest, because I would love too read it!

Good :) I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and I can't wait for the next. I know it's going to be good.

This was a good chapter. I cant w8 2 c the action scenes.

O M G... :D This is sooooooooo hot!

Wow...wow...wow...she can use weapons!I never would have expected that. Loved this chapter. :D update please x

This was a pretty good chapter. Her dad sounds awesome. I can't wait to see her in her fighting scenes.

Cool. :D

Wow good chapter. :D I can't wait to find out what happens next.

Epic! I'm beginning to become hooked to this story already! I love the bit when James is brought back as a monster and Dinitris says that she will pay up even if what she wished for was satisfactory. I was at the edge of my seat at that part! :D

Aww loved it. i cant wait to see what happens next. wow that's so cool her dad can make her dissapear and she knows how to defend her self and use guns. Something tells me she's not going to be what dinitris expected to mess with.

This story is written quite well and it is truly creative. I did enjoy reading this and if you are continuing this I am interested.

Critique; - 11 paragraph down from the top - and if I am "able to" see my James... - You need to put "able to" here in your sentence for it to make more sense.

Down further in the same paragraph - knocking my breath "leaving" me with a gasp. - You have leave it should be leaving.

- 2nd paragraph up from the bottom - It should be "mine" you have m ine.

Down further same paragraph - but an annoying voice in the back of "my" head said,... - You need "my" for this sentence to make sense.

Last paragraph - Another good thing about "my" family - You have "her" it should be "my" for this to make sense.

Down further same paragraph - A few hours had "passed" and I - You have "pasted" which is not proper sentence structure.

Thank you for sharing this.

W00T! I'm loving this

dang...being on the run and all...that stinks but she is lucky she is already prepared0_o

time to hide from the demon...

Wow epic start, now I see why CrazedBySugar added this to our community. Update soon.

Hi I'm friends with Katriousy and she told me to have a look your story and told me you only just started it but was good and I have to say she was right. so please update a.s.a.p. thank you