Very nice. Keep it up :D

Is it bad that I blushed at this? Yes, it's somewhat jolting, but it's incredibly clever and, I think, well-handled. Nice work.

pretty icky and crass...not sure what i think.

Wow, that's pretty graphic yet incredibly clever. O_O Creative indeed! Keep writing!

Anna _

I like the wordplay in the title. Swoon, like Swan. But then, we already know that you're clever.

You know, I never thought about it quite that way, but it's true. You're so good at drawing attention to the clever/quirky bits of reality, and then spinning them into interesting words.

it's good.

.darker shade of pale

A little icky on this one Punslinger, too clinical and reminds girls of something that actually hurts regardless of what romance fiction would have people believe.

Not really for sure what to think about this one.

SirScott