|Reviews for Finger Tips|
| game1 4/4/13 . chapter 14
first time on this site, found this story first...and I'm instantly hooked. I hope you update soon
| nuckiep 2/12/13 . chapter 14
when are you updating...impatiently awaiting:)
| LuxVenus 2/8/13 . chapter 14
I like that they went to someone else to help sort out their feelings and such. Very nice. Looking forward to another chapter.
| Hime no Kowai Shumi 2/8/13 . chapter 14
Great chapter! Update soon.
Hime no Kowai Shumi
| Elizabeth 12/17/12 . chapter 5
"How did this happen? Avery thought to herself. I gave her a ride home, now she's in my apartment with slightly smeared lip gloss."
Lines like this... a story like this... holy cow. Finding this story made my week. You have no idea. You are SUCH a good writer.
Small piece of constructive criticism: while I like how "Ms. Camden" only becomes "Avery" after they kiss, I feel like she should be referred to as Avery when we're seeing things from her perspective... it just feels strange to have her perspective while still addressing her the way Skylar would... it gets confusing. But that's just me, what you do with that is up to you.
Anyway. This story. Is. Amazing. You've inspired me to write another fiction piece of my own. Keep writing. And in the wise words of one Kevin Gnapoor, "don't let the haters stop you from doin' yo thang."
| Dope 12/17/12 . chapter 1
Your story is very dialogue-y which is fine-everyone has their own style of writing, but you might want to try writing more in paragraphs so as to reach a wider audience of readers who would not be okay the way you write.
| LuxVenus 12/18/12 . chapter 13
Ok we knew that was gonna happen.
I have a complaint. On the way to Avery's place? Upon entering Avery's apartment?
Was there really a need to pause the story and put that in bold letters to cut to the next scene? NO.
Instead of this:
Upon entering Avery's apartment:
Skylar threw her bag in the corner by Avery's coat rack. She was feeling exceedingly more comfortable in this place.
Upon entering Avery's apartment, Skylar threw her bag in the corner by Avery's coat rack. She was feeling exceedingly more comfortable in this place.
It looks nicer this way and flows better. No need to add unnecessary titles like that. It makes it appear as though you don't know how to use proper sentence structure to your advantage and just being lazy. We have commas for a reason.
I'm telling you this because I like this story and I know you can write. You just need to do it the right way.
I look forward to another chapter.
| Hime no Kowai Shumi 12/18/12 . chapter 13
That was not a happy ending to a chapter. Hopefully Skylar and Avery will get over this rough patch. You did a great job on this chapter with their emotions. Update soon.
| LuxVenus 11/26/12 . chapter 12
That was surprisingly very exciting. Fairly innocent and simple but awesome delivery. I am impressed. I look forward to more.
| Hime no Kowai Shumi 11/26/12 . chapter 12
Wow! This chapter definitely makes up for your writer's block. You did a great job. Update as soon as you can.
| Melstone11 10/22/12 . chapter 11
Awesome, looks like it's not gonna be a happy ending for Skylar! Please continue :)
| Raya47 7/18/12 . chapter 11
Nice story :)
| NickiOwnsMe 7/17/12 . chapter 11
you should continue
| Hime no Kowai Shumi 7/7/12 . chapter 11
Wow. When you say surprise, you really mean it. This was such an insightful chapter. Update as soon as you can. HKS
| Passionate Romantic 6/22/12 . chapter 11
Wow. Claira is going to be a problem. Avery should have told Skylar. Now it's going to look worse. Avery mind as well tell Skylar before Claira does.
I'm excited to read more. :)