I would recommend adding more details into the conversation and characters. I would also make the chapters longer, short chapters work depending on the story and situation. An adventure story, or romance should have longer chapters.

Wow. It's really based on knowledge of the military stuff!

So, it's kinda too hard to understand it! Your idea is interesting and very special.

Well, you could explain the words and meanings? And why Selena?

And why has he contact to JB? What is behind this story?

Please, continue!

Mira