|Reviews for Mahousen Izumi|
| TheGrayKid 7/25/12 . chapter 2
So I’m going keep this short hopefully. This prologue didn’t work for me, after reading this I should be really intrigued and ready to march on into the first chapter but I wasn’t. Mainly it was the subject matter, everything introduced here came off as really cliché. “Teenager at school with secret powers who secretly fights demons” has been done to death. I’m sure there are other, more original facets of your story, but you don’t display them in this prologue. Even having demons disappear when they die has been way overdone.
With good enough writing you can get away with being cliché, but this was very hit and miss. The “leaping over building like cracks in the sidewalk” is an example of good parts of your writing. But then there’s the moment when you refer to both the demon and the creatures attacking it as being a “monster”, which is confusing as hell. My advice I guess, is that if you’re gonna have a prologue focus on the really unique interesting parts of your story.
| TheBloodEdge 7/25/12 . chapter 7
I was cool when the tentacles came about. And the Hiroto HAD to joke about it.
Okay, uh, Walcott? Like Lillium Walcott from Armored Core? Of course, it could be a different Walcott but that's the conclusion I drew.
Y'know, Mai being a mage or whatever makes me wonder how much Izumi's parents know about this world.
Speaking of worlds, there's more dimensions? I smell a really hard to follow plotline coming up. Thank God for summaries in the very first chapter, I can easily follow it with that.
Finally, Anya's pretty cool of a character. Terminator in one moment, genki girl in the other.
| TheBloodEdge 7/25/12 . chapter 6
Heheh, Adolph. That's one way to name a German character.
The fight scene was awesome, sure cements their badessery. My only gripe would be that it's all put in one paragraph, making it hard for me to read. Well, that's just me, I have a natural phobia of long paragraphs.
| YelloweyesofGreed 7/24/12 . chapter 3
Honestly this chapter was the longest thing I've ever read in my life and was so hard to read at 12:11 AM... Sigh but it was good I guess. I like Hiroto's and Izumi's relationship and I hope you can continue to be a good writer... Blah blah blah.
| DevilPogoStick 7/24/12 . chapter 10
Well, I have fun with this chapter, a great breather from...All the awesome action and drama that occurs the last several chapters. lol
Anymore of those, I'll suffer an awesome attack. XD
I found the situation of their entire living conditions to be hilarious and that prior to Izumi's arrival...No one can cook something without blowing something up in the process.
But really...Hiroto was a bit of a jerk to leave that fact bout Akira to Izumi...Course, he takes a butt whooping and all is well since he kind of deserves it.
Alright, loving the story and wishing you luck on future updates! :)
Keep up the great work!
| TheBloodEdge 7/24/12 . chapter 5
Huh, now she can see auras? And that creepy dude at the middle. Creepy. That's all I have to say.
So, did Mai pull a Men in Black on those three?
| JohnnyZwei 7/24/12 . chapter 6
I'm really enjoying this story.
I did find a typo though, hopefully I'm not telling you what you alread know...
but she was the president of the Investigative Journalism Club, no secret in this school was "same" from her
I know you meant safe, but I had to re-read the sentence to be sure.
| TheBloodEdge 7/24/12 . chapter 4
Heh, the titles for the chapters remind me of the first few hours of Devil Survivor.
Almost everything I wanted to say has been lost the moment the tentacles came in. Man, I'm sick.
Okay, okay! Uh, didn't Izumi make it a point that Hiroto never picked up any martial arts? Or is that dream some sort of... Dream? Like it never happened? Is it not a flashback?
And I'm loving Taro and Nozomi! Not all parents are cool enough to tease their kids about having steamy dreams!
| YelloweyesofGreed 7/23/12 . chapter 2
Hmmm I would say this has an interesting intro. I need to read more though.
| DevilPogoStick 7/23/12 . chapter 9
Alright, a neat Izumi/Hiroto moment with great development for Izumi to get through all the drama from the last chapter. Seriously, I'm still a tad shaken by the emotions from that chapter. XD
It's a touching moment and it reminds us that Hiroto didn't have the nice life but he's a trooper, and Izumi can take a page from his book for the time being.
I'm very glad her mother's fine...I wouldn't want her to end up with a "MY PARENTS ARE DEAD" sort of origin. Batman is awesome but damn he has issues because of that.
I know you said it's short but given the amount of content you showed, it's worth the read anyway to merit as a full chapter. :)
Keep up the good work!
| DevilPogoStick 7/23/12 . chapter 8
I'll be honest, the drama in the chapter was overwhelming which is rather appropriate since let's face it, Izumi didn't like secrets...And she just happens to learn the worst ones from own family despite the fact they never intended to hurt her with them. :(
This reminds me of my past interactions with my parents and how I learned that well...I was a stupid kid back then and that my parents did love me, despite what minor thing has happened between us.
...Oh no worries! I still have a great relationship with my parents! Just brought back some memories.
Still, it's a great chapter...You really know how to get emotions running. lol
Keep up the great work!
| DevilPogoStick 7/23/12 . chapter 7
I got to admit, this is kind of fun to read.
Also, forgot to mention but holy crap, Hiroto actually took a trip in Aokigahara? I mean if someone took a look online bout that...Whoa.
But otherwise, I like that Izumi does something than be a target like most characters with a special purpose (kind of like Index in To Aru Majutsu No Inedx) and opted to make a stand instead...That is quite badass.
Alright, I kind of think there was a typo here unless you said otherwise with this piece:
"Now, if you don't mind," a crystalline blade pooped out of the cylinder's end, "I really must be going. So nice to see you again, Hiroto, dear."
I'll be honest, I almost couldn't complete the sentence upon reading the word pooped on there, as I was wondering for a moment if that was a typo or not.
But all in all, stuff are revealed and I love how you handled this!
Keep up the great work!
| DevilPogoStick 7/23/12 . chapter 6
Well, just managed to read though this one.
I enjoyed the fight scene, as it shows just what we'll expect in future battles...Or perhaps future battles would make this fight look tame in comparison. O_o
No worries, having a rival to establish is neat, as it shows the fighters have a history and who doesn't love that since it makes the fight all the more important? :)
Keep up the great work! _
| DevilPogoStick 7/23/12 . chapter 5
Alright, another chapter down.
At this point, things are getting a tad freaky and looks like all will be revealed...Soon!
I got to admit, the things happening to Izumi are honestly scary if you were in her shoes so really nice job on giving that effect.
Can't wait to check out the next chapter for the first actual fight in this series! :)
Keep up the great work! (man...That's kind of becoming a catchphrase for me here lol)
| DevilPogoStick 7/23/12 . chapter 4
Alright, got to Chapter 2!
I got to say, the title of the chapter you made pretty clear in the later half of the chapter itself! The fact it's only part 1 is having huge suspense over the next few chapters!
I have to admit, I found the last line Izumi had this chapter slightly funny. :)
Keep up the great work!