|Reviews for Gifts of Gold|
| raina-night 5/4/13 . chapter 10
I am in love with this story! Please update soon
| emotion draziw 9/10/12 . chapter 10
I absolutely LOVE that story and I can't wait for the next chapter so please write it soon
PS: I'm very interested in Zanorin's past
| Vivace.Assai 6/11/12 . chapter 10
This chapter certainly wasn't interesting in terms of plot but it did further development of the relationship between Zanorin and Isolde and perpetuate the mystery around Zanorin's attentions.
Zan's explanation of Lorrayne does give more context into Isolde's mother and what happened to her. It's sad to hear she became a plaything to Isolde's father and that Zan's decision for Lorrayne was poorly chosen. But I wonder now if that regret guides some of Zan's decisions with Isolde (even if he won't admit it). I further liked how Isolde served Zan some dinner though she is scared of him. Though I find that to be slightly gullible (I'm sorry but that is just too nice for my cynical side), it does characterize Isolde as a person capable of warming up Zan's heart.
I also find Zan's ambiguous answers to be slightly frightening. You've made me curious about his plans.
Overall, another nice chapter. I hope the plot really picks up soon along with some character development (since you've mostly established characters but they haven't changed quite yet).
Thanks for the great read!
| Vivace.Assai 6/11/12 . chapter 9
Ah - a look in Zanorin's perspective. This should be an interesting chapter then.
So I found the chapter very nice in characterizing Zan (I like the nickname so I shall call him that from now on). I'm rather surprised to discover his relations with Lorrayne. I imagined they were lovers or something but clearly, she was a friend who he treated like a daughter. I hope you'll delve more into their relations and how that affects Zan's feelings for Isolde. I was also shocked to learn he was married, but it gives him more personality. Clearly he used to have a family and a normal life but something must have happened (relating to Myra's love for him) and destroyed his happiness. I'm curious how you'll develop his past since it has a lot of potential.
Also, the look into his past showed that Zan used to be a simple man. He was ambitious and talented in magic. But something has happened that causes him to become the man he is now. It's kind of strange seeing the striking differences between his past and present self but it shows a lot about how he changed. His reflective personality also shows how he is weighed down by past events.
Overall, another nice chapter.
| Vivace.Assai 6/11/12 . chapter 8
[whatever sinister act he set out to] I believe you might need a "do" after "to" in this phrase. It might make things more exact and clearer. But as another note, I found the entire sentence that the highlighted phrase belongs in to be slightly on the long side and not as punchy. It just seemed long-winded. I'm not sure how to fix that but I just feel the sentence could be stated more succinctly. And I notice that happens a lot in some of your sentences, so that's a suggestion for you to look at (though you may chose not to change it since it is just a suggestion).
I did find some things to feel sudden in this chapter. For example, I would have liked a deeper look into Isolde's sudden desire to run and her distress as she is unable to leave her seat. I just feel it would make the scene more desperate and more dramatic - more fitting with what is happening, in other words.
I'm not quite sure what Belial, Gatherers, and Collectors are... I don't think you mentioned it earlier, so I'll just assume you'll explain it more extensively later in the next few chapters. I think that Isolde is important for whatever plan Zanorin has. And Mardak just has a really good sense of smell I guess.
Overall, this was a nice chapter. Maybe not your best but I find the story to be progressing in an intriguing manner.
| Fair to Midland my children 6/10/12 . chapter 10
im sorry to hear about your boyfriend :( But i liked this chapter good Job!
| WhiteWolfAsoka 6/10/12 . chapter 10
I really like this little story you are writing, it catches my interest in fantasy and romance. Which, mind you, rarely happens with stories I find. But this shows promise in my opinion and I hope you continue. It really is a good story in my mind's eye. I'm as curious as Isolde in why her captor took her in he first place...
| Mira Roy 6/10/12 . chapter 10
I am sorry to hear about your break up. It is rather painful to discover that your boyfriend has been cheating on you. I wish you all the best for a new beginning.
However, your chapters even if a LITTLE uneventful, manage to please me. Great work. Keep going, gal!
| Mira Roy 5/30/12 . chapter 9
Hmm...a pretty intriguing chapter. The flashback was indeed a vital clue to Zanorin's past. Enjoyed it as always.
Oh and by the way, even I am learning to drive, same pinch! :-)
| this wild abyss 5/21/12 . chapter 6
One thing I noticed while reading that I'm not sure if I mentioned before or not is that your dialogue is very stiff and formal. It gives your characters sort of a stilted feeling, and makes them seem less fluid and realistic. Use some contractions, try for more simplistic synonyms. "Big" words are good, but not if you wouldn't use them in everyday speech.
Other than that, I do think you're doing a good job in leading your readers along. I'm still rather unsure of where you're taking me, but I'm sure I'll find out.
| Fair to Midland my children 5/19/12 . chapter 9
Wonderful Job! Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Miss Ashlynn 5/7/12 . chapter 8
I love this story so much! I've never read anything like it before. Please update soon, pretty please with sugar on top!
| Nicole 5/6/12 . chapter 8
Your small error is more than excusable considering the fantastic quality of this story. I'm already in love with all of your characters (except for the king, perhaps). I also deeply appreciate your frequent uploads. I can't wait for the nest installment of this thrilling story :)
| Mira Roy 5/5/12 . chapter 8
OMG. I love you and I love this story. This probably one of the FEW stories in fictionpress with a rare combination of a genuinely wonderful plot, lucid narrative and impeccable language. You inspire me. Do upload soon! We will be waiting!
| Asa Usa 5/4/12 . chapter 8
So . . . the chain is like a collar?