|Reviews for The Crimes Odds Ratio|
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 5/6/12 . chapter 10
What? No! You can't end it now! It was so young...!
Sigh. I'll miss this story. I always looked forward to your updates. Promise you'll write another? Pleeeeaaassseeee?
I wasn't happy that you ended it, but you tied things up pretty well at the end and wrote a good conclusion. I understand if you had no plot and wanted to end it (that's how my fanfiction is going right now) but I thought it still had a good few chapters left. Ah well.
If you don't write another story, continue to message me. I enjoy talking to you (well, typing to you). Or you can message me in reviews, like I do.
My genre's Hurt/Comfort/Friendship, but it's not going to be one of those cheesy ones where everyone hugs it out and cries and becomes best friends. No way. I expect it will be... different. And yeah, I'm not a huge horror or angst fan either, but my friend has a way with words that's just haunting.
Anyways... I'll miss this story. See ya soon I hope, in another story or in a PM (:
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 4/23/12 . chapter 9
Well, I submitted my essay what I thought would be too late, but it turns out it wasn't—I got a postcard from the contest people saying they received it on time. Phew. And yes, I've determined a genre. Or, rather, two, it's Friendship/Hurt/Comfort. Sounds cheesy but there ya have it. Sorry it's taking so long, I wrote my first draft but then decided to split it into two chapters, seeing as the POV switch was confusing. I was having trouble with summaries and I'm still trying to work out a title, which may change during the course of my story seeing as I've already changed my pen name :) I like this one much better. Don't be surprised if it changes again, though.
On this chapter: Not much to say. I'm not good at describing what I liked and didn't like about chapters, especially when I've got a lot of stuff running through my head at the moment. I didn't notice any misspellings or grammatical mistakes other than a "her and such-and-such" as opposed to "she and such-and-such", so that's all good. I guess I'll finish this review before I ruin it by saying something obnoxiously cheery and overused like "Update Soon!"
Crap. I just did.
Whatever. I'll get right to work on my story after I finish reading my friend's. Her pen name is Antisaint if ya wanna check her out.
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 4/6/12 . chapter 8
Loke raised some good points (or you did, I guess ). You really write his dialogue well.
I sit in the very back in Science. It's great because I'm as far away from the teacher's desk as I can be, and I'm right near the door. Plus she doesn't have a problem with me writing in class, as long as the work gets done. Love that class :D
Uhhh... Not sure how else to fill up this review. Spring break's this week, so I'll try my best to post. I've got issues writing a summary, but I'll figure it out sometime. I'll look froward to your next update!
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 3/27/12 . chapter 7
Hmm. Things just got veeeeery interesting. Guess I'll have to wait and see what Loke's up to...
Chapter? Great, again. Nice descriptions, not too much jumping around, good dialogue, all that stuff :)
My story is coming along pretty well. Yesterday I was trying to write it in Science and it wasn't going so well, but I came back to it today and it was a lot easier. So I think it'll trun out okay. I just hope I don't take too long updating, like I do on my fanfiction :\
Expect it in a week or two, maybe longer since I'm submitting something to a writing contest. I WANT THAT $300 FIRST PRIZE! HELL YES! :))
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 3/22/12 . chapter 6
Dun dun DUUUNNN!
Eheheh. Good chapter, though the action was a bit slow. (until the end :O) You're welcome for sticking with the story and reviewing (though this one is probably gonna be pretty lame).
Thanks for showing interest in my story! I won't post it until I'm completely happy with the first chapter, though, so don't hold your breath. Not sure what genre it falls into yet.
My lame review is done! Update soon!
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 3/11/12 . chapter 5
I meant to review this this morning, but the whole Loke/Leon thing and all that kind of took a while to get over, lol. And I guess it still says I reviewed today anyway.
Good chapter as always. Not really sure what else to say, and I'm really tired too so I don't really feel like making the effort, haha. That's what three softball games in a day, waking up early, and setting the clocks forward does to you, I guess. Anyways, I will point out that you switched from past tense to present tense once. It was a bit off, so I felt like bringing it to your attention.
About your response to my review: Thanks :) And my fanfiction stuff is kind of weird and not very well-written because I don't spend as much time on it as I should. And I don't plan :\ I will for FictionPress, though.
As always, update soon!
| non.graceful 3/7/12 . chapter 4
Try to balance out the amount of dialogue and description/other paragraphs.
Use short and long sentences in a range. Like this. Because it helps set the pace and also makes the reader plunge into the story with interest. Interest is good.
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 3/4/12 . chapter 4
Great chapter, as usual. Very action-packed and exciting.
You write dialogue (something I struggle with) very well. Not only the serious parts, but the humorous ones too. Such as:
"What's this? Flushed cheeks, rapid heartbeat, dilated eyes. Why Loke, are you attracted to me by any chance?"
Bwahaha! That was awesome :) And yes, I did Favorite this :)
Hey, would you do me a favor? When I post something on here, would you review it? I've seen so many stories on here that had no reviews... You don't have to, I was just hoping :)
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 2/27/12 . chapter 3
Amazing as always! It cracked me up that Loke was using four different accounts, then I realized why, haha. I'm interested to find out more about these stories he's posting. Or maybe...
*GASP* LOKE WRITES ON FICTIONPRESS...!
Haha. Just kidding. Well... Maybe. Hehe ;)
I'll be eagerly awaiting your updates! There were no errors as far as I could tell in this chapter, so good job :)
| non.graceful 2/27/12 . chapter 1
You're better off using italics or bold instead of CAPITALISING a word so that it stands out..
Also, write the number in word form (three, four) when writing and only use numerals (1,2,3) when quoting a number off of an alarm clock or something.
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 2/24/12 . chapter 2
Very nice! Loke is an interesting guy. I like him.
You said you were going to take this down because you were embarrassed by it? Don't. It's really, really good. There are grammatical issues here and there, but we all have them :)
| just.a.breeze.in.eternity 2/22/12 . chapter 1
I really like your writing, and this story is very unique. It's interesting and fast-paced already, so I'll expect a lot in future chapters :)
Once I noticed you slipped from third-person POV to first-person. Was that supposed to happen? It didn't really fit so I wasn't sure if that was intentional or not.
Update soon! I'll look forward to your updates!