| Reviews for Do Not Disturb |
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Nesasio 7/19/12 . chapter 1Ooh, neat way of generating a story idea. I wondered why that bit was italicized but it's neat to see what you did with the prompt. I have to say I wasn't surprised by her reaction to his confession, but I don't think I was supposed to be. I think you built up their relationship well enough to that point that it was kinda deliberate that she always cut him off before he could confess. Not in a bad way or anything, but realistically. Romance isn't really my genre so perhaps I'm just seeing this too much from the outside. But I liked the ending. It's nice that from a big disappointment like that he took a chance that might work out well. |
lookingwest 6/3/12 . chapter 1That's a cool idea to get a story written-I think I might have to borrow that technique some time! When I was reading this piece I was afraid it might kind of have a sad ending, but I actually enjoyed the ending and I like that you twisted it to make it something that was more positive than negative after that rejection. While this was slice-of-life kind of too, I enjoyed the subject and I like how you handled the descriptions of the setting. The setting and the party set-up was well done and right-on. I found it relatable too, not only for the guy but also the girl. Having to reject someone and say just-as-a-friend is a hard thing to do and I think you made that apparent in the 1st girl's dialogue and actions too. I liked the little moments about smoking, that was cool, and the beginning before the dialogue starts going is very poetic, I really appreciated it! Overall a great little piece with a great ending! |
Persnickety Fox 4/21/12 . chapter 1I'm partial to one-shots, and I love this. I love the ending. I also love that the heroine(?) doesn't have to say much for me to get a feel of her. Instead, the hero told me what kind of person she was. I thought that was more efficient and clever because I don't have to be stuck sifting through dialogue to figure it out. The telling here also saves her characterization; the hero keeps her perfect in his mind and so her obliviousness is easier to bear than if it was dramatized (shown). Good job! |
OneOriginalThing 4/8/12 . chapter 1I love the way it's written, it gives the side of the story we are not always happy to see, the side that isn't the happily ever after, with the big happy ending, but the more realistic ending. I really did like the moral of how we find our own happy ending. |
DutchAver 3/23/12 . chapter 1I very, very strongly identify with this story - I've been rejected more often than I like and every time, I've been having the exact same sentiments your main character has - complete with the 'wait, I was wrong, I really like you anyway'-feeling. Very well-written, I am very much impressed. I discovered one mistake: ' he wouldremain silent' Don't think this needs further pointing out This one is going in my favourites without a second thought :) |
YasuRan 3/15/12 . chapter 1While the plot isn't anything new, I like how 'real' the characters felt. You have this knack for adding little details to your protagonists which make them more relatable, like they're people you'd run into any given day. The setting and dialogue are good examples of this; they aren't overwhelmingly cheesy or melodramatic but they are rather realistic. The rejection scene was one I could see playing out in real life. I thought the closing line was pretty cool and tongue-in-cheek. It was a nice, hopeful note to finish on and it kinda makes me want to give the protagonist a friendly pat on the back for his trouble. Well done :) |
LiberryBooked 3/14/12 . chapter 1Aww, this is cute :). I enjoyed it. |
Laken8 3/14/12 . chapter 1I like this, you should continue |