This "IS" written quite well and I had found it an interesting read. Thank you for sharing this.

Love it!

But i think if you changed 'head swivelling so much that she felt as if *her head* had gone full circle on her neck' to 'head swivelling so much that she felt as if *it* had gone full circle on her neck'

Please write the next chapter very soon (cough tomorrow? cough)

This chapter is superb!

I'm loving the plot so far, and the characters too.

One thing though, you might want to change she to he, since they are talking about her when she is supposed to be a boy.

The Inspector hesitated. "She was breaking Edict 25. Breaking of the Edicts in the Book of Rules is breaking of the law of the Master, resulting in imprisonment and –"

err..the exception 99 doesn't make any sense

Please get on with writing this! PLEASE! I'll pay you (or kill you... depends on my mood)

hey there! You are an amazing author, and I can't wait to read what happens next. I think 'Teodora' or 'Teodora's Revenge' would be a good title for this. :)