This story really stuck in my head. I mean, REALLY stuck. I read it a couple months ago, and I still remember all of it!

I loved your creativity with the golds and silvers and the color poisoning, and I loved Nick's journey to find Arian. Nick's confusion about how to respond to Arian felt so realistic. But my favorite part was by far the beginning (which I don't think I've ever actually said about a story before). I liked how the portal to Arian's world was unprecedented, how Nick's curiosity led him there and how he just got swept along. My favorite scene was actually that first sex scene, because of the setting, because of Arian's warmth, and because of the star. It set the tone for the whole story...and made it so I thought I was going to DIE in chapter 4 if Nick didn't get to Arian in time! So sad about Arian crying out in his sleep. SO sad. :'(

OMG you almost had me crying in this chapter
gotta say it's my fav chapter though

Completely amazing story! Cant wait to read more of your work.

I havent read this extra chapter yet though I'm sure its as amazing.
I was just wondering on your plans for the epilogue, is it still in the works?
As for Fated it was such a lovely read I really loved hated and sympathized with Nick and Arian was such a perfect man that Nick should have gobbled up from the beginning. Anyways I loved everything the world you created (which I wish I knew more of) and the lovely couple whom I hope continue to be happy and make lots of love! :P Thank you for sharing a beautiful story, I cannot wait to check your other stories :D

I was really happy to see and learn more about Arian world I was glad you made them a week apart so Nick could get accustomed to the new world.
lol at everyone thinking he has colour poising its always cracks me up especially when Nick asks Arian had awww
As much as I love Arian and Nick of course it going to take some time for Arian to fully trust Nick and I'm glad you should that when he would wake up and tighten his hold on Nick
Such a wonderful story I'm off to the epilogue!

omg I was so sad he was changing and forcing himself to be something he wasn't
ughh Ben boys are so stupid humans in general and about being gay is so dumb and not accetping its sad
I'm so glad Nick realized what he wanted and he told his team he was gay and that they didn't beat him up but just told him to go
omg I cannot wait for them to reunite its going to beautiful as long as Arian will forgive him
ahh Im so excited!

omg Tyler I flippin hate him omg! zk;fagajksgfajksf
ahhh Nick why are you torutring the sweet boy!
omg what do you mean fix the sex? it was so damn good!
ahh Nick just go with Arian hes so sweet, lovely and perfect omg so perfect!

It was like emotional roller coaster (but a good one) I was smiling and laughing throughout the story. I was really confused after Nick went through the portal maybe you mention it later but I'd really like to understand Arian world later on, the fated, basic blood and all that. Arian omg he so perfect and so wonderful poor nick for being so insecure and scared. I really hope with time Arian can help Nick accept himself and begin to heal for the past torment, I'm really excited to continue reading this series :)
and ugh when the portal reappeared I guess it was obvious it couldnt just be a happily ever after although I hope Nick heads back soon!

I really enjoy the way you write. Chapters are always the perfect length and everything seems so real. The character are just amazing it's hard not to love them. Fated is defiantly one of my favorite short stories.

aaaaawwwwwww! I wanted Nick to get witth Evan! TT This was still very good though.

oh my glob, now im hopelessly wondering how it would have been with Evan-/- lol, and Arian you dog, working as a prostitute! lol

Hello, I don't usually review but for this story I couldn't help myself, so here we go!

Personally I cannot believe that this work of art does not have a zillion reviews! How is that possible? The way you conveyed the tattered emotions from Nick and the sickly sweet innocence of Adrian was incredible! I had to stop and wonder while reading, I wondered why you are not an accomplished author yet!

Moving on, I had so many feelings that I experienced that I had to laugh, cry, and blush. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful thing to read!

What I really like about this story is Nick's characterization - he's a real person. He's a complex character you end up liking and disliking but more importantly, sympathizing with. The first person narrative perspective worked really well to accomplish this. The internal monologue was quirky and enjoyable to read. And most other characters have been given the same depth. Like Ben and Ryan. Because they're characters you'll end up having mixed feelings about.

What I would have liked was a bit more explanation into the alternate world you constructed. While you have constructed it vividly with descriptive writing, there is much left unanswered. In that respect, seeing as you DID take on Nick's point of view, I find myself wondering how he doesn't explore that world more. The sense of wonderment at entering a new world and that curiosity over it's differences doesnt seem to be covered that much (in my opinion). Perhaps he isn't all that curious or is just fixated on Arian. Which is understandable (he sounds fabulous). But really... As a reader I find myself wondering what certain things like "acidic/basic" mean. Are they personality types? That's definitely an allusion to chemical neutralization which I think is cute. Arian is mild, nick is a spit-fire, they are opposites yet they balance well. And what about the people there? What do they do for a living? Because Nick is going to be pretty useless where jobs are concerned... And school? We've got "tutors" but how does one get qualified? Because Nick won't be "educated"... And hes ill equiped to survive that world. Who are the elders? How do they decide who gets matched? Do they have direct links to Fate? And of course... Where does the portal come from...? Although that isn't such a big deal.

All in all I thought the story was poignant and riveting. I couldn't stop reading it and I'm typing this review at 5am... That's how much I loved it. And I do hope that epilogue comes up soon. Cheers!

Awesome! Love it.

Hey,

This was a nice story. Very emotional, and I really felt Arian's pain. The parts where he cried hurt so much that I almost stopped reading.

It wasn't clear how much time passed from their separation until reunion, or how long his trip actually took. Also, the move from different schools wasn't clear until the middle of chapter 3, when you said the school name.

There weren't any details about Arian's world/society, but it's your choice whether that is an important thing or not. But maybe a bit on the elders, since Arian mentioned them, and they seem to be some kind of authority figure..?

Another aspect was on the first chapter, where you keep referring to different people as "young man", "old man", "woman", "other woman", and it was a bit difficult to figure out who was Nick, who wasn't, who was who.

Overall, it was a nice story.

Keep up your good work, and good luck.

Hugs,

P.