It's good, but there's very little plot, and the ending is a little confusing. Use less Be-verbs. "Right now we are walking" to "We walk". Less wordshappy.

This has potential, but I don't think you developed it enough. Keep writing!

-REB

I don't think you're young! You write like a young adult! Anyway, I love the tragic ending. It was quite funny to me, I don't know why. Your stories always leave me wondering, 'How? Why? What happens next?' and I love that mysterious ending. Nice work.

Meh. You need to work on switching tenses (past to present and back). Your style could also be smoother. I realize though that you're probably very young, so this was pretty good for a new writer.