|Reviews for King's Champion|
| Nemean Lion 11/30/12 . chapter 10
I havent forgotten this story, nor have i forgotten what i wrote. Now that i know you have stacked chapters its hard for me not to squeeze you dry of all the chapters you have :) so i must force myself to review sparingly and with meaningful comments unlike my previous ones. Also i want to leave the reviews on my laptop so i can reference your chapters easier its hard to do that on my phone. Its also easier to type long reviews. Anyway, i should have the time soon to sit down and review properly. Until then, write well.
| MidniteLayce 11/19/12 . chapter 2
Firstly, I have to say how excited I was to see an email saying you'd updated this story. I've been searching for one I could really bite into, digest slowly, and enjoy- so to speak. Lol Basically, I remember this tale as a deep, expertly-woven one, and I was looking forward to getting back into it. :)
But then life happened, and I haven't really had the time to thoroughly go through a new chapter of yours and give you a thought-out review (something more than a typical, "Omg. So good. She's awesome. The King is hot. Hope she wins. Yeah."
So here I am! And hope that my review can serve as some sort if help for you. :)
Okay, so right off the bat, Luke's description of Quercus, those first 2 lines, are a repetition of her description of him in the last chapter. If a reader is going the
| Nemean Lion 11/12/12 . chapter 7
I dont know if you are writting like a maniac, or if im being conditioned... anyway still great i liked the pacing of this chapter better than the previous. The seamstress was a cool little twist-character.
| Nemean Lion 11/12/12 . chapter 6
You, this story- goodness. Very good. Maybe a little rushed in chapter 6 but its hard to find a good rhythm when you start a new story
| InkedGirl 4/20/12 . chapter 4
Interesting story! I love the dialogue. Its very realistic. The characters are also very colorful. Please continue on with this story!
| MidniteLayce 4/20/12 . chapter 1
This seems like exactly the kind of romance/fantasy story I was looking to read, and I'm excited I've found this jewel. :) Luke (Lilias?) seems like a very put-together kind of girl, and I like that trait in my heroines. I'm guessing we as readers have entered the story right when she has entered this fantasy world, of which I'm excited to find out more about. She doesn't seem all that freaked out by what has just happened to her, which seems a bit odd to me. I think anyone would be stunned or at least more confused if they'd gone through what she just did. And I didn't get the sense that she was expecting all of this...
Aside from that though, I really liked the rest. The descriptions were wonderfully infused with her thought interjections in italics. I think that style of writing is perfect; it gives us readers further insight into her mind. And the king- oh don't get me started. I'm excited, to say the least, to learn more about him and see more interactions between him and L. ;)
Overall, wonderful job! I was very tempted to just skip on over to the next chapter, but you definitely deserved a review. Till next time!
| Lynn K. Hollander 4/12/12 . chapter 2
'Well, good. Let him worry. He'd ripped her out of her life to come here and play politics for him. She didn't feel like being comforting.' good for her.
I think the pacing is better in this chapter, less rushed.
| Kumkwat 4/9/12 . chapter 2
I like Luke's name and that she's from Nashville (Yeah!). This story is well written and I would read more, so keep up the good work. :)
| Lynn K. Hollander 4/8/12 . chapter 1
This: 'What the—why's he need a champion?' is a little too abrupt. Why does she assume she is his champion?
Here: '... plain white gi and its black belt she didn't just look like a servant—she was the plainest person in the room' is also a little off. So she's in white and black. So? Priests, priestesses, nuns, friars, brides, mourners white and black. Serious colors, yes, but not necessarily the colors of servitude(In this world history, getting a rich black with natural dyes is expensive. Servants are often in smelly woad blue or onion skin tan or madder root/beet/brazil wood rosy-pink/faded magenta the cheaper shades). Has she seen a servant here?
Lilias/Luke What is her name? ((E. Withycombe/Oxford Book of English Christian Names derives 'Lilias' from Elizabeth, if that matters))
I like stories where the characters don't stand around not believing their eyes. The action mostly flows logically. If you write more, I'll read it.