|Reviews for Glitch|
| Deserthawk 7/17/12 . chapter 6
Oh wow. That burn scene was hard for me to read almost... it just sounded so painful. I also liked your 'crumbled like sugar' comparison when they went into that building. It's interesting, I thought Ryan was going to go that heroic route and try to save that dude, considering his experience with fire. Although I'm glad he doesn't have this needy 'I need to save everybody because everybody died back then' complex (like a certain annoying anime character). The Moonbeams are also intriguing. (Do you draw? It would be cool to see pictures of some of these glitches). I hope they'll be reasonable and Erika and co. won't have to kill all of them (though after that scene with the fire I don't feel like that will happen...)
Anyway, I thought it was a little confusing when it jumped from the kids to that scene with the Moonbeams (right after 'And the hours passed in blood and fire.'). Perhaps you could use one of those horizontal lines things? (but who am I to talk lol)
Update soon! Although Pokemon is a worthy distraction.
| WereMagi - Death's Messenger 7/17/12 . chapter 6
Pokemon? Distraction accepted, now return to your world and create your A Team!
| Deserthawk 6/26/12 . chapter 5
Ah, that's a funny glitch. I wonder why it didn't just kill Andrew... it's like it's especially cruel or something. Somehow I get the feeling guns don't work against it. Like maybe he didn't miss but the glitch can deflect bullets? That would suck. Good description of the town, I could practically visualize it. Ha, I wonder who that guy with the sports car is. I like Andrew a bit better after this chapter for some reason. He seems like a bro. Probably doesn't deserve that horrible tree branch thing though.
Hm, grey shadow... is that the glitch? I hope Ryan's going to finally show us his fighting skills.
I didn't notice any grammar issues or anything. I guess the past tense still sounds awkward to me, but I think that's just me (since most books are written that way...)
Keep it up!
| WereMagi - Death's Messenger 6/26/12 . chapter 5
All I can say is that the tension is building and that I'm shivering with anticipation (not because my heater has finished warming the room to a respectable temperature)
| Deserthawk 6/23/12 . chapter 4
Damn. Volatiles? 14? And they didn't bring any awesome weapons or anything? I feel like Ryan's screwed.
That part about aliens made me laugh. Also the unicorns and starstuff. And robbing banks. I'm starting to like Erika better. She's got some great quotes.
Anyway, I really admire how you write everything smoothly. How you transition between different characters naturally. It's nice.
So I'm guessing that tree branch wound has something to do with the glitches? Interesting. 'He won't shut up about his gun and his car' I know people like that XD
That description of the magic carpet in the beginning was cool. I could actually visualize it. For some reason I was also imagining the tardis sound as I read it lol.
I have a feeling this is going to start getting awesome real soon.
Yes, keep updating!
| Deserthawk 6/5/12 . chapter 3
Woah, a glitch in the team? Mind blown. It will be interesting to see how this turns out, indeed. Kind of had trouble remembering who Jack was at first, though, he's kind of quiet. I didn't really notice any grammar errors. I kind of like Ryan a little bit less 'cause he's acting so ... I don't know, moralistic I guess. I liked the 'grinned like I was a salmon' description ... good imagery. Er, I guess this would have been more dramatic if it was gradually hinted at/revealed, but that probably doesn't really make sense in the context of the story, so ...
Keep ... updating ...
| Deserthawk 6/4/12 . chapter 2
I feel like this would make a really good video game. Make it happen. I want to play it. It would be like Kingdom Hearts, but better. I bet that gun does something really epic, but only Ryan can unlock its powers or something. It is clearly choosing him. In other news, the story somehow reads to me like it's in present tense, even though it's not. That's probably just me though.
Arg, I don't want to be annoying but, is it 'sky-skraping' or 'sky-scraping'?
Update ... soon ...
| Deserthawk 6/4/12 . chapter 1
This is cool. You do 'in media res' really well. I mean, it's really admirable how you explain everything without making it boring or confusing. And the concept is awesome. It reminds of Doctor Who and the Matrix for some reason. I could actually imagine reading this in a book.
Also, I would like one of those Trimorphs as a pet, please.
| YFIQ 4/20/12 . chapter 2
Some parts are bit creepy for some reason.
Fairly interesting sci-fi. Is it the same kind of glitch mentioned in the "Matrix" when Keanu Reeves said deja-vu? JUst wondering.
| WereMagi 4/14/12 . chapter 2
Reviewing is mandatory? What, you gonna use that gun on us if we don't? How do you know if everyone even reviews? Unless... this base is actually your room and you don't actually look for glitchs but for readers... and then teleport into their rooms and use that gun on us... Good story, write more! (insert bad poker face)
| Frap 4/12/12 . chapter 1
HOLY COW! "Yo world be ready for your next sci-fi writing genius!"
You know I always give props when they are due. This was an amazing start to a short story series. You are very talented and your eye for details throughout keep this interesting.
I like how in the beginning you give us the new kid on the block feel with the waiting for sleep, and the information given through a character, rather than an info dump helps keep the pace up and keeps it from getting boring. The conversation is realistic and the voice of Troy comes through your writing very clearly.
I was wondering if Ryan and the creator are all the same since in life We don't know the face of God, but we know he exists so that's what's going on with his being a part of the group now. But any way I'll leave that for further speculation.
Now as far as getting to the group itself the fashion of introductions and details by a character also gives excitement in the mood and tone that Erika displays for each of the members of the Glitch group. I love that you also chose to use a female as the lead, since a lot of Sci-Fi is male dominated. Cool points for that.
The way that you also keep the sense of suspense as to what it's all about is well done in the giving of information that he did a heroic act yet something that was dangerous. That foreshadows his hero status is going to be interesting in my opinion and his wanted to take risks also signal to me he is going to be an interesting and exciting main character.
I love the break down of the villains and the explanation of other characters without it being an info dump and i can't express that enough. It's so hard for me to get rid of all the chatter and get to the meat of a story so you have already mastered that in my opinion so awesome job.
I think the tying of history and actual events to this gives it credibility and also another level that the readers can look forward to finding "glitches" also which is a great way to make this interactive on some level. Like watching aliens...You know when you see the slimy spit, it's chomp time. If that didn't make sense sorry.
Anywho, I love how the "carpet" is used as a teleportation device and the use of other things that are simplistic help this from being a story you have to have a sci-fi manual to follow along and understand before you can envision any of it. Thank you for incorporating the obvious and the small to heighten a readers imagination.
Simply put this is the beginning of a story that I want to read, and something I think others would love to follow. It's not over wrought with a college dialect and the conversations and flow are normal, natural, and make sense.
I can't wait to see what else you have in store for Ryan. Thanks for sharing!
| YFIQ 4/11/12 . chapter 1
Glitch hunters? Sounds like the kind of people killing those who are imperfect.
Reminds me of someone, but who?
The story is interesting and it gave me "Animorph" vibe for some reason.
I know it's not going to involve the characters shape shifting so that's something I can expect.
I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
| RedX9 4/11/12 . chapter 1
I like this. You have the most craziest plotting. I mean a story about glitches and stuff and how characters are trying to rid their world of glitches, doesn't get crazier then that. The Ryan part made me realise what was going on. I just think it's creative.
But its kinda confusing for me as well. The person who ruined the game through bad programming is Ryan and the main character is named Ryan. So somehow the programmer got sucked into the game and he has to fight all the glitches he had created? Well this is what I got from all this. I maybe wrong
| WereMagi 4/10/12 . chapter 1
Curses, I was hoping for a longer chapter with a flash back on this fire Ryan was found in!
I would log in to fav and story alert, but I'm taking a break from cleaning...
| Tim Cummings 4/10/12 . chapter 1
I would give the most rewarding gift of a well rounded critique if I thought I was qualified. Since I'm not qualified I'll just say that this story appeals to me; enough so that I will be reading the rest of your available work as time permits.