Other tha a couple of vary minor grammar edits, a story ready to be published.

A great read!

I really enjoy this, and look forward to seeing where you are taking it. I really liked the style of this one- like, but not the same as, the Grantville books. Unlike most of your other stories, your focus is more on the group than a single character. I think you write very well this way, and should choose universes that allow you to develop your story in this fashion more often.

More, please!

Well done, it is a rare thing to find an author on here with more then one great story. I must say this is quite well written, with believable characters and dialogue and a unique plot. My only criticism has to do with their creation of advanced technology, you leave the reader to assume that Rebecca is the mastermind behind all California's innovation. Considering you introduced her as having an interest in engineering, and then make her into a technological wizard doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Not a criticism, but you could also put a break between different points of view throughout the entire story, as i think you've started to do in the later chapters. Thank you for this fantastic piece of Fiction, i look forward to hopefully reading more.

Ho ho ho. That is a Good one mate.!
Nice plot and believable characters.
Keep at it .

Alexander
Athens Greece

Very good story. Technically well written. Plenty of action and the dialogue is very good as well. The one complaint I have is that it is pretty ambiguous in parts whether the uptimers are actually divulging the fact that they are uptime to the locals or not, I realize the story line says this but the dialogue is misleading in places both that of the uptimers AND locals. Very good, I hope you continue with it.

Interesting to see how the ripples in the timestream are slowly changing history. Will be interesting to see what Charles thinks of California.

This, good sir, is awesome. I eagerly await more.

Hey,

This very good. Again, I like the multiverse explanation for these story lines. You have provided a lot of detail, obviously you have done the research to establish plausible human responses and interactions in these OTL situations.

After saying that, it did strike me as things did progress a little too easily for Kaplan and his team. Also, I had some difficulty following the dialog changes, especially in the first few chapters...

I am really looking forward to the continuation of both of these stories!

John