I don't like this new review button...T.T Eh, well. C'est la vie.

Sorry, I'm reviewing so late! I feel like a terrible person. I also want a cocker spaniel. But I digress.

Really? That was your first fight scene?

...*sigh* I once again find myself envying your epic skillzzz... For you can write in a boy's POV and make it extremely convincing and natural and now I find that you can also write epic fight scenes.

And I suck at both.

I really don't believe it though! That was awesome! My heart was pounding during that scene and it was smooth and well thought out. I can't believe it's your first one! It was amazing! Good job Cami!

Sheesh...

I really liked this chapter and you're write. The aunt was at all like Izumi and really wasn't as scary as I previously thought...have you seen Emperor's New Groove? These kids remind me of the kids from that a lot...*shrugs* Eh. At first I wondered if "Dander" was a mispelling of "Danger" done by kids, but I soon found myself wrong.

We learn more about Armie in this which I like a lot and Breda's random commentary often makes me laugh. Does Armie where turtlenecks for a reason or was that explained or just random...?

The only thing I would have liked more of was description of the city that they're entering in. I know you did a little last chapter, but still. Just a thought.

I wonder if Breda had any emotions about shooting that guy or not...hmm...anyways!

Thank you for the wonderful chapter! As usual, you don't disappoint. And, don't worry, longermore of your writingvery happy me.

Despite being late.

Please continue to be awesome and write more epic fight scenes and update!

HUZZAH!

-Alice

YES. THE BOX FINALLY LOADED! NOW I CAN REVIEW!

Goodness gracious Cami! What a wonderful update!

I'm really happy to see that there's already character development going on and it's only chapter too. I also like how Armie has quite a few quirks to her. It makes her interesting and makes me like her quite a bit.

Breda...well, poor Breda. I like him too and laugh at her views on girl language. I loved the little thing where he was listening to her breathing. That was beautiful.

You're always so well-written and professional in your stories that I hardly know where it would be adequate to begin, given I could go on for days about how much I truely love this and look forward to more of it.

Instead, today, I decide to rant about your scenery descriptions. I love the way you described the sky and the town. Not overly flowery but well enough that I can see what's going on. I salute you for that. Ms. Clare tends to confussle me with her gigantic words. It's nice to have good imagery that I can understand.

I can't wait to see where this is going and will continue to be a devoted fan! You're setting yourself up so nicely, goodness, darling, with a start this good, will you be able to top yourself?

I challenge you to that.

Honestly though, loverly love to Pigfarts and back, daisuki and all that jazz.

Please update (this and all your other wonderful works)

(dear me, I've about wonderful-ed myself out. Ah, well. It was worth it. )

-Alice

O.O

Wow. *grins* Okay then.

This...is...wow. I like it a lot and I'm interested to see where it's going. Poor guy...ED FEELS YOUR PAIN! (Although more spastically...)

I can't wait to see where this is going! Way to throw a hook Cami!

One thing though:

Marcohthat one guy who developed the cook book with the secret to the Philospher's Stone. O.O No offense, but I'm kind of glad you killed him. I probably wouldn't have been able to keep those two thoughts seperate very well...

UPDATE!

-Alice

Hey

I really liked this. It was well written, good dialogue, good plot.

Constructive advice - when describing grief, i felt it was a little more "tell" than "show". For example; "I cried."

I know you elaborated, but if you were to sort of try and show us how the crying took place it could be a bit better :)

You could have put something like,

"I fell to my knees as the grief overtook me. Tears streamed down my face and inside I could swear I felt my heart break - but still I didn't make a sound. I silently mourned, alternating between brother and father..."

Not perfect by any means but it's a bit more descriptive than "I cried." :)

Anyway, not being nitpicky and I hope that didn't offend you! Just trying to help :)

Otherwise, loved it. Good stuff, well done!

s/3005284/1/The_Hunter If you feel like it, please review this :) Thanks