|Reviews for Cricket Symphony|
| Theresalwaysacatch 7/5/12 . chapter 1
Wow. You have a very beautiful sound to your writing. I could feel the nostalgia of the piece, and I felt like I got a clear glimpse into this woman's life. She seems very real, and very complex, and I think the problems she's facing are ones quite a few readers can relate to (but they still manage to retain their specificity in regards to the main character; at no point do her thoughts on her problems seem too general or too universal).
I did feel like the story becomes a little static at times. So much internal focus on a character most readers have no initial connection to can get a bit tedious. I'm not saying you have to make the story action-packed, but I do think a bit of physical progression (coupled with the mental progression you already have here) would help the readers get through the story a little better. Also, quite a few of the sentences are long. I don't really have a problem with that either; the structure fits, considering she's supposed to be idly waiting throughout most of the story. Still, some variation in the periodic structure, I think, would make this piece easier to follow. Also, I feel like the longer sentences get muddled every so often. A super-long sentence is fine, as long as it makes sense and the reader can follow it. But I feel like every now and then, there's a very drawn-out bit that I have to read a few times to understand. My last bit of criticism is this; I'm not sure how much of a role the nomad plays (or is supposed to play) in this. I get the feeling he's kinda important to the protagonist, but she only mentions him twice and there's almost no characterization of him throughout. I guess what I'm struggling with is the fact that I know he's important to her, but I don't really get the why behind it from the story. I feel like, if he's so important to her that her hopes of seeing him again (in part) draw her back to this place every weekend, he would appear in her thoughts more often than he does.
Still, your writing is absolutely breathtaking. Your descriptions make the scenes tangible, and I love how they address the visual, auditory, and tactile senses all at once. They make for a full, believable picture. Bravo! I really do love the writing in this. It's quite spellbinding. Good job:)