|Reviews for She's not that kind of girl: Danie and Melissa|
| breakthehabit 4/13/13 . chapter 7
OMG. Where's the next chap? D: Just when it was getting good.. I like it! Haha.
| I Confuzzle Myself 6/13/12 . chapter 7
This is a great story, i love how Danie acts :P I'm a lot like her actually. Im not lesbian but i swear waaaaaayy too much and i am pretty bitchy...i also never really apologize for anything... Oh well! :) I also love Spencer. He is hilarious.
| H. Earthserpent 4/30/12 . chapter 7
uh ok keep going.
| SweetnSour333 4/24/12 . chapter 6
So I finished reading all you have so fare and I am a little confused on where you are going with it. Maybe I missed something somewhere but right now I am a little lost.
| SweetFangs 4/24/12 . chapter 6
No romance or anything? What? How could you? (half-joking)
Well first of all, what are your feelings toward this story? Is this something that you want to be like one of the awesome "professional" stories out there or are you not that serious about it and it's just something for you to have fun with? If you're serious, I suggest you remove the parts where you talk to the readers and the ... faces...
If you're not serious, then just keep doing what you're doing. I mean, it is your story.
And then there's the misspellings, typos, and missing words. The missing words bother me the most because there are some sentences that are missing words and with that one word that is missing, us (well me anyway) readers have no idea what was supposed to be there.
I feel like the story flow is sort of inconsistent. I don't know, that's the best word I think of right now. I feel like what's happening are all over the place. Some parts are too fast (in my opinion). Some things just seem (too) random and (no offense but) not thoroughly planned out.
To me, it seems like you're just coming up with these things and trying to squish all of your ideas in but you don't look it over.
Maybe you do look it over but wait a while. Wait until that feeling you get from thinking up an awesome idea fade. Because if you look it over when that feeling is still there, your pride (and stuff) tends to get in the way.
I know I sound like I'm just spouting b.s. but it's true (in my case at least, haha). Sometimes I go back to what I've written and I'm just like "Oh God, I actually wrote that?"
I think you need to give your characters more... depth...flesh... whatever the hell the word is. I feel like you're just going over the surface of all the characters. I think that's it...
Have you planned what's gonna happen in the story? Like the basics? Which direction you want it to go in? What kind of ending you want it to have? So on and so forth.
| earthserpent 4/23/12 . chapter 6
woo keep going.
| SweetnSour333 4/23/12 . chapter 4
Ok so I have read your story up to here non-stop so you must be ding somthing right! Oh and when she was talking about the room . . . I face palmed . . . it hurt and now I have a red mark on my forehead. *rubs forehead* Also I must congragulate! I don't go for the lezbean stories but I very much like this one. So props to you. *clap calp clap* Consider my a reguler reader! -
| IzzyMesko 4/22/12 . chapter 1
this is really good and thanks for the review on love bites n bleeds too. Hey can u read my other thing if u havnt already? btw I couldn't find any mistakes particularly except the grammical and stuff. :D
- Izzy Mesko :P
| Rokujimol 4/21/12 . chapter 2
This is really good, I love the characters! It's nice that they're getting along, lol. Overall, the only real mistakes I can find are with grammar and spelling, but none are really bad enough to take anything away from the story. You're really good at keeping your characters in character. I've seen so many people make their mean characters nice for no reason, but you avoided that. Yay! There's actually a reason for Danie to be nice!
Keep up the good work, I'll keep reading!
| H. Earthserpent 4/20/12 . chapter 2
update update update.
| shinyunicorn 4/20/12 . chapter 1
Nice. Reminds me of a story I was writing. My only suggestion is to try not to use cliches like "eyes you could get lost in." Also, I get a bit confused where you mention the character Danielle... is she the same as the black haired his panic girl? I got confused there... I would concentrate on clarifying the parts between people.. Other than that, great start!