Reviews for Blood, Sweat and Moronic Teachers!
ClmWriting 12/29/12 . chapter 3
I'm really sorry, but this really did not seem like a story. You're not really developing a plot or anything really. It is just the main character complaining and complaining. First, the main character is complaining about how cruel the teacher is, then he becomes hypocritical by belittling another person. It really was hard to read because it felt like a waste of time.
Imagination Creations 9/26/12 . chapter 3
Good story. The teacher creeps me out. Keep on Keeping On!
-Imagination Publications
Wjiaei 8/28/12 . chapter 1
Hey, it's Wjiaei. You read my story a really long time ago and gave me a really nice review. :)
You asked me to read your story, and I'm sorry it took me so long. My account was having problems. For example, I couldn't log on. :(
But I've read it and I think it's a really great idea! Also very well written!
My only problem is at the beginning, when you said "This is not the freaky teddy bear from Toy Story Two" I don't think that was necessary.
But so far I love it and I can't wait to read more! :D
Shanni81 8/7/12 . chapter 3
Nice!
MindlessApricot 7/30/12 . chapter 3
Okay, uhm. Firstly, this is a pretty okay little story so far...However (Brace yourself, I might get a bit harsh here. Deal with it.) are you twelve? Youre not serious about this are you? Have you ever read a proper novel?
Youre exploiting and using every boarding school cliche in existence.
the phrase, Moronic nerd...dont think you thought that one through at all.
When you describe something, dont use 5 different adjectives. Use one or two and make them very effective. Like this, The rolling crystal ocean sounds better than the deep, blue, beautiful, foamy ocean.
The overuse of typical, boring language and cliches make me want to vomit.
You want to write? Then write. Do it well. I hope you use this story for practice and can improve in future. If you love writing then keep going, but please dont write drivel like this. You can utilize humour quite well, continue with that and youll improve.
Viola Chambers 7/25/12 . chapter 3
Oh my goodness! (W) Your story was so humorous! Please let there be more (hehe) My favorite line was:
' "Really? My life is in danger...because of a nerd?" ' I loved that part:D All I got to say is...(drumroll)...Love it!
professional griefer 6/17/12 . chapter 1
Alright, well, I'm not really here to review your story.

A while ago, you reviewed one of my stories. I thought the review you gave was odd, because you complimented the details. I suck at details. So I thought maybe it was a spam review, or maybe you had low expectations.

Then, the other day, I was reading through someone's reviews, and I found a review you gave them that was exactly the same review you gave me.

Are you so desperate for attention that you would say anything to people? Really, maybe if you put a bit of thought into the review and didn't ask for people to read your story, then maybe you would get more reviews.

Congratulations, though, because obviously a lot of other people have fallen for it.

(by the way, you need better punctuation, spelling, dialogue and plot. just thought you should know)
Queen NekoChan 6/13/12 . chapter 3
*strokes chin thoughtfully* Well, I spotted a few mistakes, but nothing too serious. A few needed commas here, some misplaced periods there, and a bit of missing apostrophes. Otherwise, THIS STORY IS EPIC! :D
SunnyA 6/13/12 . chapter 1
This is an amazing story! I can't wait to read the rest of it! I am so captivated by the plot and the characters.

One question: how old is he?
Queen NekoChan 6/11/12 . chapter 1
O.O EVIL! *runs away screaming*
writersmind101 6/10/12 . chapter 1
This chapter is very well written but i think you can work more on using some figurative language to amp up the detail. Also, i think the plot line is fantastic. i cant wait to see whaat the climax is going to be. i can feel the makings of an amazing story. Please read and review my stories, The Last Chance, and Life or Death
Vivace.Assai 6/3/12 . chapter 3
Okay, sorry for the late review but then looking at how many reviews you got, I don’t think I’m in too much trouble for being several weeks late. But still, the explanation is simple. If you’ve looked at my profile during the month of May, I posted an explanation saying I needed to study for exams and finish final projects so I withdrew from FictionPress for that month. But now I’m back! So let’s begin. :D

[Mrs Penny, ever the 'sweetheart'] Okay. Italicizing and quotation marking the word “sweetheart” is a bit excessive. By this chapter, I’ve already established that Mrs. Penny is hated by Raidan and that he wouldn’t think of her as a sweetheart. I know this is a finicky notice but it can be distracting and the extra add-ons to the word only propelled my attention away from the rest of the sentence and interrupted the flow of the entire statement (what made it sarcastic).

[Wow what the hell am I talking about horses winning Oscars someone's having a late nights well lets continue (normally).] This is a long run-on sentence. I notice that sometimes you write a sentence like how we’d write a stream of thought, which is continuing and long-winding. It does make sense what you’re doing. However, though it doesn’t happen with this sentence, this manner of writing can sometimes lead to confusion for the readers. Adding punctuation helps make this sentence a lot clearer. For example: [Wow, what the hell am I talking about? Horses winning Oscars someone's having a late nights? Well, lets continue (normally).] Much better flow and also it separates the question from the statement.

["Timothy I know {who} we are going to go to today."] I believe it is “how” not “who.”

[The answer to leave this school is, Big Ben, you, me, Rodrigo and Ramon Saviero, Rocco, Salvador, Shinichi, Ziggy, Carl, Reggie and Andre, Stewie, Dylan Ryder. Well what do you think about that?] I suggest revising the sentence in a manner like this: [“The answer to {leaving} this school {is: you, me, Big Ben, Rodrigo, Ramon, Rocco, Salvador, Shinichi, Ziggy, Carl, Reggie, Andre, Stewie, and Dylan Ryder.} {Well, what} do you think about that?] The revisions I made are in brackets. With the list, I just changed the order because thinking about it, if you were listing out names, you would remember the people in front of you (in other words, “you and me” before moving onto others. So it’s just more realistic to list it out that way.

["Well you could try but be careful about that Salvador guy he can get really emotional."] Punctuation appears to the largest grammar error you make so watch out on that. Suggested fix: ["Well{,} you could try but be careful about that Salvador guy{.} {He} can get really emotional."]

But anyways, aside the technical notices, I thought this was a nice chapter. There were a few grammatical and formatting errors but the story was interesting enough I ignored them. I found it nice how you started the chapter with a nerd appearing in the darkness instead of the menace great in continuing the humor you’ve set up. I was actually surprised – pleasantly so. So I liked that turn in plot. I also enjoyed where this plot is leading with Raidan deciding to plan an escape. Overall a nice chapter. All you need is improvement in the technical aspect of writing and this story will be pretty great.

Thanks for the great read and can’t wait for the next update!

Signing off…

P.S.: I hope I didn’t sound too harsh in this review. I’ve been gone for awhile so I’ve lost my reviewing touch – I might sound too blunt. I’m even more uncertain since looking at all your recent reviews, they’ve mostly been just support… though I think concrit is good, right?
penschooler 6/3/12 . chapter 3
I sense a plan coming on! I do ever so love plans (And trying to figure out how the heck they are going to operate)!
Shadowmark 6/2/12 . chapter 3
Why ya' no tell meh you updated?

Ugh, there was Happy juice, cookies, and now cupcakes? You're holding out on meh!

ha, psycho mama line had me rolling XD

I loved this and still do!

Update it!

*munching on cookies*
Dr.Blow.Your.Mind 6/2/12 . chapter 3
cheese and rice this gave me the creeps...I love It!
107 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »