I kinda like it. The words were kind of repetitive as you said but you just have to work on that on your own. Reading A LOT will help in that department even if you don't think so at first. It worked for me anyway.

Anyway I would definitely like to see more of this.

I'm going to leave my review here since this is where I read it.

First of all, I really like the concept you've come up with for these two and The Queen giving free will makes perfect sense. The initial scene where they meet is quite cool, although it amuses me that they don't actually speak to each other until trillions of years later and a kiss. I'm curious what The Queen whispered, but I have a feeling that it would blow my mind in more ways than one, lol.

There was a few mistakes I noticed, such as one "where" instead of "were", but I can't remember where or what they were now. XD;

Really looking forward to seeing more of these two. X3