|Reviews for Vermillion|
| riverstardust 5/18/13 . chapter 1
I like the way you write, your writing style is very unique! I also enjoyed the sentences about the sword in the beginning! I did find it a little too long for a prologue though, but I enjoyed it all the same! D
| Blood-Lion 5/13/13 . chapter 12
Excellent stuff. Your dialogue and action sequences are lovely to read and the plot itself is intriguing enough to carry it all. I look forward to more chapters
| chibilover28 4/8/13 . chapter 2
This is amazing! I absolutely love the first few chapters and the manner in which you write your stories is incredible! The problem I find with this story that the mysterious atmosphere is a bit too dark. Anyways, keep up the good work!
| Sock my Rock 3/26/13 . chapter 13
It's nice to see that Alice has a good relationship with her sister. I mean after all if I was passed out for a couple days I would like to see someone that I like. I still find that a bit amazing though at how destructive Alice's powers are. Though I am curious as to how Alice and the white witch are related.
Jeremiah has got be one of my favorite characters this story if not my favorite. I've always liked manipulative but laid back characters. They can be both really chill and awesome whenever the situation calls for it.
I'm glad to see Vermillion back up again. It's been a while, but it was worth the wait. I can't wait to see how this act will play out! So best of luck for your upcoming chapters!
| Sock my Rock 2/1/13 . chapter 12
The very first part of the chapter was very beautifully written. I felt as if I was reading a passage from a book. I felt a sense of awe as I read the chapter. I can honestly say after reading this chapter that this one has become my favorite chapter of your story so far. Not only is it written very well but it explains lots of things.
As I said in the previous review, I'm still a bit shocked that Alice turned out that she wasn't that stereotype of a princess that I first imagined her to be. Not saying that this is a bad thing as I'm really starting to like her character now. It must of been hard on Alice after everything was said and done as she realized all the horrible things that she had to, but she continued living which to me makes her that much more likable. Oh and I liked that Havoc made an appearance in this chapter. I'm still waiting on more Havoc time. I fell like he needs more time in the spot light.
And now you have me excited for the next act because Vermillion is finally getting more time! Pirates, a person that shakes him cold, and finding a home for Andy. I have a felling that I'm really going to like the up coming Act! You continue to impress me with your story, so please keep up your great work and update soon!
| Sock my Rock 2/1/13 . chapter 11
Wow way to change the mood of the chapter in the end! When I first began to read this chapter I just assumed it was going to be a nice little chapter with Alice walking around seeing what her world was like, but I have to applaud at how you were able to make it something else entirely at the end.
And we get to know a little bit more about Alice in this chapter. Here I was just assuming that she was just a princess that was always locked in her palace living the life of rich noble. But now I really don't know what to think of Alice other than I have misjudged her.
Sure it was a while that you haven't updated but then again look at me. But I'm glad that Vermillion is back up again, and I will be waiting for what you have in store for us! So keep up the great work!
| Y. S. Wong 1/18/13 . chapter 1
Eh, I'm not quite sure what to make of the collision of first person narration, present tense, and this genre. I've always considered first person befitting more contemplative or narrator-driven stories as opposed to action. The writing, overall, is good, though.
Granted, this is a prologue, but this first chapter did not really tell me much. I think in the first section especially you erred a little bit too much on the side of description. Some of the descriptions felt rather unnecessary or redundant. Prologues are meant to get the reader primed and/or interested in what's to follow, so while it's fine for the reader not to know what's going on, I think you weighed your story down a little bit with description. A faster-paced approach or a more economical approach I think would have been more effective, but I won't claim to make any assumptions about what direction you want to take your story. It's yours, after all!
| mjinx 10/14/12 . chapter 1
Wow, you're a really good writer!
The prologue paints a good picture! Even though it's not a pleasant sight in this prologue, I can clearly see the whole scene in my mind with your words! Good job!
A child mercenary, eh? The plot sounds interesting. I'll head on to the next chapters when I get the chance.
| Sock my Rock 10/3/12 . chapter 10
I feel bad for Alice but then again Sylvia makes some sold points. That's the life of a royal though, you might get whatever you want but then again you don't get anything you want. I guess that just goes to show that the life of Royalty isn't as good as it seems. While on the subject though I was glad to see that Alice has servants that tell her the truth. At times I really do think everyone needs to be told their own truth.
You did foreshadow quite a bit this chapter with the thing with Havoc there at the end. Now I'm starting to guess that Alice isn't just Alice but she is also the White Which. Or maybe the White Which could be some sort of spirit that looks like Alice for some reason. I don't know, but one thing is for sure. Alice has something to do with the White Which.
Man now you have me excited for what's to come next in Vermillion. Why did you have to foreshadow like that. Now I'm going to be waiting like an obsessive fanboy for the next chapter. Your story my good sir has just gotten that much more better and I can't wait for the next update!
| Sock my Rock 10/3/12 . chapter 9
That Harold guy must really want some action...I mean going into Alice's bed right before she goes to sleep sounds very desperate to me. Just about every fancy party that I have ever imagined goes some what like that. Nobles just standing around taking about all their stuff, but there are always those ones that dance and try to get into people's pants.
The relationship between and Alice and Jeanne is turning out to be on of my favorite relationships in this story. They seem more like actually sisters than Alice and her biological sisters. Yet that where some questions for me come into play, but I'll save them for a later date as the story progress.
Great job on the chapter, and I'll see you in the next chapter my good sir!
| Sock my Rock 10/3/12 . chapter 8
People must of not had much things to do back then other than watch people fight. Then again society hasn't changed much. We still watch fights weather they are made up or real I guess humans just like watching fights.
I have to say while the fight didn't last to long what happened afterward left me happy and content. It really does go to show that people really don't like the Wolfgang regime. Seeing the life of the royals has me torn though as I can't tell whether to like the Wolfgang or dislike them. I guess I'll just half to wait more before I can take my stance on whether or not I like them.
A ball sounds like a good idea for nobles, but Alice doesn't really seems into the whole idea. Oh well I'm sure it going to turn out to be a good chapter either way. Till next time my good sir!
| Sock my Rock 8/21/12 . chapter 7
I liked this chapter. It was: nice,short, sweet, and well I was able to get a better sense of how Alice is and how she acts around her family. This time I didn't find it boring, maybe because I got to see Alice interact with more than one character this time around. I pretty sure it's that.
Though I wonder if Alice is going to be the Yandere of the story. And if she is then I will be all for it. I don't know why but after watching the Future Diary I started to like the Yandere love, or at least in Anime. That would be very weird if it happened in real life. Having some girl stalk and obsess over you... that just creepy. Enough of my little mini rant.
The next chapter is going to be interesting with Jeanne, though that also makes me curious as to know what else is happening to the other characters, especially with Vermillion and Andy. Oh well I guess I'll have to wait to find out! Till next chapter as I wait ever anxiously to read your great story!
| Sock my Rock 8/19/12 . chapter 6
It was good getting to see Alice again in that whole cryptic dream sequence. It's most like foreshadowing lots of events to come, and especially with the White Which. It really does make me sit and ponder her new role.
All that being said, I'm not going to lie to you. I got bored after the dream scene. I personally think it has to do with the amount of things happening that got me bored at that part. And yes I know that part was necessary to flesh out Alice's life and how she acts, but I think you could of done that part better.
Regardless that still is just one man's opinion as it is your story and I know that you will probably make it up in the chapters to come. And as always your writing style is great and descriptive. All that being said I'm still excited to see what's coming up in the next chapter of Vermillion Rewrite, so please keep up the great work!
| Teru Kisuke 7/26/12 . chapter 5
It has been forever since the last time I've reviewed. I'm sorry X'P Procrastinated.
This is a great Rewrite that you have going for you, and there is noticeably more character interaction! I like how Fiorre slowly realizes his excitement toward fighting Vermy in particular. He has changed a little admittedly from the original, to a more commanding yet lost figure. It proves very interesting, and his last moments again were touching. Good job! :D
And the softness Vermy (well his name is officially Chase now, but I'm too used to calling him Vermy) showed toward Andy was a nice touch. "It won't it you, I think." XD I like the horse already. And the White Witch does seem to have a slightly bigger role that was slightly vague in the last one, the tattoo on the neck was an interesting touch as well.
Keep up the good work! I enjoy your story every time I read! :)
| Sock my Rock 7/25/12 . chapter 5
I'm real liking this new side to Vermillion or Chase it makes him seem so human. Andy still is generally the same as the last time, but I still like him regardless.
I'm glad you were able to focus this entire chapter on the characters, because as I've said before the original Vermillion was lacking in the character department. So big props on the character interaction this time around. Oh and the White Witch really seems to have a lot bigger role this time around. I'm wondering though what kind of history they had together.
I'm really looking forward to be once again be acquainted with Alice and the Wolfgang family. Can't wait for the next update!