|Reviews for The Trio|
| Oh Please Girl 10/8/12 . chapter 4
I like it! :) I would make sure that whenever you are writing a new quote, you start a new paragraph. Like, "Brodie what happened to your finger?" You should start a new paragraph and indent and THEN put "Basketball..." etc.
| Oh Please Girl 5/6/12 . chapter 1
This is a really good start of a story! I can't wait to find out what else happens. I do agree with another reviewer that you should use more commas, so it's not just sentence after sentence, and I also agree that I like how we know about the characters without having to read a lot. It's really good so far! Can't wait to find out what happens later! :)
| Atreyu Legend 4/27/12 . chapter 1
While I do agree with the other reviewer that I like your idea to use multiple POVs. I also have to say that this first chapter felt like a step by step process with every line.
For example you would form a sentence like this,
"After taking a shower she dried her hair and got into her outfit for the day. She walked to her car wearing high knee boots, skinny leg jeans, and..." you go on.
You want to avoid this kind of writing because it feels like your checking off a to do list for the character and to readers that can be tiresome.
Now what I did like was that you gave us some excellent back story of your characters without drilling us with too much information, I feel like I know your characters now without having to read an overbearing amount of text.
Excellent job, your definitely on my alert and Favorited list! I will be back to read more in the morning!
| Neverland.dream 4/26/12 . chapter 3
Hey! It's me. :)
Anyway, I LOVE the concept of the story-you know the three characters thing..
I would have love it even more if you write it on a first person's point of view, just indicate whoever is speaking.. Though it's already nice as it is. :)
Oh, and I do would love if it has more dialogues. :)
By the way, Charlie is my fave character, but I love Spencer's style of clothing even more (personally), and I love Peyton's name the best. hahahahha! :)
Boy, this sure is the longest review I've ever written. :)
Anyhow, I LOVE it! You should update some more. :)