To be honest, I think you should rewrite this chapter.

I think there are some really good ideas here like having the girl be average and there's good use of dialogue.

However, consider these criticisms:
-You give us all the information at once. The question is why? Have we shown interest in Stormthrower? Who is Stormthrower?
-Why would Brianna do what Ibo automatically tells her? Hasn't she heard of 'stranger danger'? It just seems implausible for someone in that situation to follow suit.
-Perhaps you could focus your dialogue on something more plot relevant. Dialogue serves to move the story forward.

A good start, and I know you can improve a lot.

Until then,

Keep Writing!

The WonderPets ringtone made me bust up laughing. Brianna's one random chick. XD

Oh great, Brianna. What'd you do now? _ Only one way to find out... Update soon, please! :D

Baby BlueJay

"You touch my hair, Sparkles, and that glittery getup's gonna be red as your lipstick." That totally made my day. XD Brianna is so much like me. I can already tell I won't like Amaryllis. Time to get more reasons why... ;D

Baby BlueJay

Thank you for another beautiful chapter! :D This was seriously hilarious and made me laugh numerous times. I can't wait to read the next one. :)

Baby BlueJay

Confessions of a sidekick is great so far! I can't wait for the next chapter ... One criticism I have is how easily Chelsea gave uop on figuring out what happened. She doesn't sound like that type... She should ask again in the following chapters.

I really like this. It's interesting and keeps me hooked. I love the characters and Brianna's witty remarks. However, why did Professor Ibo choose her in the first place? It's hard to believe they would choose someone to reveal a huge secret to just because she happened to be in the right place at the right time.

First off, let me just say that I am extremely impressed with your writing skills! I'm really liking Brianna's humor. Stormthrower seems interesting; I can't wait to learn more about him.

This is an amazingly original story, no doubt about it. Keep it up and update soon:)

Baby BlueJay

I liked this.

Kitty