The stupid code thingy in the login area, doesn't work, so I'll post anonymously. Though you really know who I am, after bugging me to read this while I was working on my homework.

I wish you made Carla... well... Stay as I. I was perfectly content with the story putting her in her shoes, that giving her a name kinda put me off balance. I just HAD TO connect with your character. I guess other fics have influenced me, but this is only the third that I've seen someone use a name for a first-person story.

Also, Edmund's name was so... late. Late, my dear. I kept on going till midway naming him as your REAL special someone. LOL.

The OCs... No comment. Not a word.

The grammar's okay... For me. I don't know for a grammar Nazi though. Want me to refer you to someone? xD Some wrong punctuation marks, a few sentences that would have sufficed to be connected into one. OH. YOU DON'T START SENTENCES WITH PREPOSITIONS, unless you're using it as a noun. It's one of the lessons grilled during my Communications class.

I wanted a sad ending, how dare you. ))))) I didn't want that Edmund following her. Stupid excuse, drinking his liver out just because he's afraid. Of course Carla would misunderstand his actions, hello. D: (Hey, this is just me. Excuse me for being an angst fic-reader.)

Anyhow, a good start for a beginner. Though I know you're not a total beginner. ;)

haneshi

Short and sweet - I liked it.

I strongly believe the saying, "Everyone deserves a second chance, or until they get it right." And this, this took the words right out of my mouth, and explained how I feel about someone just like Edmund. Thanks :)