oh isn't he wonderful. Nina's a little brat but what can you do. as little siblings that's our job. andi can see how his mind works, making plans before he even knows much more about the situation than her name and her religion.

i thought it was quite funny how you encorperated now adays stuff into then adays stuff. cool.

Donnie

ok, this is like really exciting. i do like it. so there is anotherChristian out there. good to here. and that'll be good for her. well done lass, well done.

Donnnie

I want to be alive when this begins to take place. i want to see howit all plays out. i mean in my version it's a Sunday law and only the Seventhday Adventists will be in harms way. but i still want to see how it all plays out.

Congrats you may have even even gotten me inspired.

Donnie

This has a great plot and is really well written. I love the idea! However I think it sounds odd when you were talking about the cars as the characters keep going on about the past. You would be better of talking about it like you did the holophone and just describe stuff in a subtler way.

I think this is a pretty cool idea, and it's pretty well-written too. One thing I've been wondering though is how did Niagara become a Christian if her family isn't one? I mean, it's not like the information would be readily available if the Athiests were in charge, as you stated in your story, so I'd like to see how she became a Christian.

And since you were asking for ideas, I think it'd be cool if the Athiests government people came and took Niagara away to a secret location and tried to persuade her to get rid of her faith, amd then it's up to all the secret Christians to band together and fight back against the athiest controlled society. )

Anyways, good story and I can't wait to see more! D

I think you will have to think of some better and more detailed plot. Its too straight forward that the journey seemed more like teleportating to the destination- Spoiling the fun

Only kids like such simple layout. Good stories is like being an Explorer whos goal is to reach a destination but his focus is on the ride. I wanted to see you humanize the characters better and give them more personalities. Dont think of them as puppets who speaks as they are told. Teach them how to breath!

Let it be a character-driven story because in a futuristic world where there is no world conflict, your best genre of choice is to be a Slice-of-Life.

(Unless you are planning to ignite some form of a war or zombie infestation and the characters are the only ones who will stop it)

love the idea! please continue!

This is very interesting... I once started writing a similar story myself, but now that I'm no longer a Christian it wouldn't be very realistic if I tried finishing it :)

Keep going I can't wait to see more.