|Reviews for The Maneater in the City|
| Barbie826 12/21/12 . chapter 29
I liked this. Just didn't like hearing her pining over Michael.
| Carmel March 8/18/12 . chapter 29
Oh, wow, I can't believe this story is over. It's been an absolute delight to read, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next :)
| Blueyes57 8/12/12 . chapter 1
I liked this one. I like the fact that she DID'T find a man lol So many stories have that fairy tale ending lol Thanks for the break of "normal". I'm adding this one to my Faves.
| dumpyfledgling 8/10/12 . chapter 29
I'm so glad that this story ended on Elle's self-realization and not her finding a guy. I especially loved this line from chapter 28.
"I wonder what my future husband might be like - that is, if I ever have one. What will he look like, what does he do for a living, how educated will he be? Where and how will I meet him? When will I meet him?"
It is exactly what runs through my mind too when I'm thinking of Mr. Right.
I also loved this:
"I have to love myself first. Before any guy can love me, I have to love myself. I have to be completely satisfied with who I am as a whole before I can be a better half for somebody else. And just because I'm single and I'm not half of a whole, it doesn't mean I'm not whole."
It takes so many women to realize that & I'm glad that you were able to put in so concisely for people to understand. My reviews have been sporadic but thanks for writing such a great main character with such a great story.
| Carmel March 8/9/12 . chapter 27
Wonderful! Really well-done chapter!
| littledrummergirl28 8/4/12 . chapter 26
| Carmel March 7/31/12 . chapter 25
Andddd this was probably my favorite chapter so far. Honestly, amazing stuff. Please update soon!
| Guest 7/22/12 . chapter 24
Just discovered this, and basically got pulled in because I'm a Boston girl. Anyway, I do hope Elle gets her happy ending eventually ... with or without the guy.
| Carmel March 7/23/12 . chapter 24
One of the biggest things that I love about this story is how freakin' realistic and true everything you write is. It's not sugar-coated and I can't tell you what a relief it is. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| NoirQueen 7/21/12 . chapter 24
I love this story. I love Elle and your dialogue. But I hate this chapter. It serves no purpose except to let us know how much Elle is pining over Michael. It feels really repetitive and doesn't show the overall story going anywhere. Looking forward to your next chapter!
| Carmel March 7/15/12 . chapter 22
And you do it again. Freakin' fantastic chapter. I just love Elle. I'll be patiently waiting for an update, as usual :)
| guest 7/9/12 . chapter 1
| Guest 7/8/12 . chapter 21
This story is fairly decent and I quite like the independent and intelligent female protagonist whose sole purpose isn't to find a man.
However, there are a few things in this story that should be looked into to make it a better story. It hasn't been so much in chapters 20 and 21 but in the nineteen chapters before, I felt like we really didn't need to know about what she's wearing. It's kind of boring and feels like it's filler because you don't know what else to write. Describing what she wears in special occasions such as the bridesmaid dress trial thing or the wedding is fine (or just casually noting the fact that she's been wearing higher heels) but her dates are the main plot of the story and to read the descriptions of outfits every. single. time. is so tedious.
Also, the same with what she eats and drinks. It may help 'bulk' up your story but doesn't add much to it so there really is no need for a description. If you still want to include it into your story, try and incorporate it more organically into the plot.
One more thing; I feel like other than Elle, every other character is really flat and two-dimensional. I get that she's the protagonist and all, but by writing her as a wonderful wonderful person (almost Mary-Sue like actually) and giving the other supporting characters paper-thin personalities (even Jayne, if we're being honest here) doesn't make it a strong story, which it definitely has the potential to be. Give them more of a background, give them more than just a defined role in the story (eg. not just the best friend, not just the bitch) and their interactions with Elle would be more resonating.
Sorry to rip into the story, you do have a lot of potential and the general idea of the plot is really good, but just some tightening on your story writing style would make it a great read.
Also, you have wonderful grammar, sentence structure and grammar.
| Carmel March 7/10/12 . chapter 21
Holy crap, that was the best telling off in the world! Great job on this chapter!
| Guest 7/8/12 . chapter 21
Crap!That's so mean of him...a quickie chapter...can't wait for your next update