|Reviews for Clay's Journey|
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 7/8/12 . chapter 9
THERE BE NUGGLES AND NEKKIDNESS.
| Legkicker 6/27/12 . chapter 2
There's the good ole gunslingin' you see in westerns! It's funny how much times have changed, isn't it? Back then you could have a shootout in a bar, and no authorities to arrest anybody. I guess the sheriff, but even then they mostly get away with it.
I like this chapter, not too many noticeable problems.
The only one I gave thought to was:
"...the man asked, waving his gun about."
and Clay says, "I have a problem with you waving your gun about."
This could've been on purpose though, for a humor factor.
| Legkicker 6/15/12 . chapter 1
I like this story, I've never read a western on this site before (aside from the really popular ones by Michael Panush)
I'm only on chapter 1, but I find the character Clay to be developing fast. He's desperate, but he's a strong, confident person as well.
Not many grammatical errors, you said "He hoped to fine..." instead of "He hoped to find...".
Other than that, the last sentence of the third paragraph seems like a run on to me. It could be split but doesn't matter much anyway.
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 6/13/12 . chapter 8
"Clay shuddered as he came deep inside Marie. They moaned together at the moment of orgasm and Clay buried his head between her breasts."
Het, like, grosses me out. What's wrong wid me?
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 5/30/12 . chapter 7
LOL. Accidental dry-humpage is win. And I LOVED the "I don't like where his hand is headed" part. Ooops... naughty George.
I liked it from Seth's POV. It added more perspective.
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 5/22/12 . chapter 6
No, you should't continue. You shouldn't write anymore either. Just stop.
(LOL I'm kidding)
I love how Seth just glomps Clay. Just, boom, ninja hug attack.
Interesting group rape scene. Heh. Might wanna up the rating.
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 5/15/12 . chapter 5
I love how they just wander around naked. LOL.
This be slash? *smiles pretty*
I'm... tired. Interesting chapter. Make more.
-REB, who speak caveman... woman... oh, fuck it.
| Merlin's Ward 5/11/12 . chapter 1
Ha! That was cool! I liked the feel of the town that you gave off. Excellent. It just seems filthy, disgusting, perverted, and torn down. I feel so bad for Clay. I hope he doesn't stay there, long.
Can't wait to read on! :)
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 5/10/12 . chapter 4
...SNUGGLES! *hops about and points at snuggling part*
(Now look what you've started again)
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 5/9/12 . chapter 3
Seth's only fourteen? Daw. He's adorable. Might be my new favorite character.
I love the gritty storytelling here, and that's quite a creative murder. Update soon.
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 5/7/12 . chapter 2
Eh, plot twist. Very cool.
Pacing's still good, excellent development of the plot. THought the "crazy man" coulda used more description. Was he wild-eyed? Greasy-haired? Bearded? Incredibly thin? Crazy men are fun to describe, see.
Keep it up, update soon.
| Rogue Energizer Bunny 5/7/12 . chapter 1
This is good-real good. I love the description and the simple evil of the town. It's all nice and straightforward. The pacing's spot on as well.
| Lindsay R. Dorlac 5/6/12 . chapter 1
This is good! I can tell this might have been influenced by Red Dead Redemption? Well can you check out my story? It's influenced by it too! :)