Need. To. Read. More. Please!

Please update really soon! This is amazing!

I really love this story. Please start updating again!

Damn. Got here too late! Well, if you need help with edits, I'd be happy to volunteer. Good luck with the rewrite! :)

Wait... What? Why is there only one chapter? There were like 21 before? What's happening?

Wow!I want more..I just finished reading moonlight change and another story from you will keep me up at night..sigh PLEASE update soon..PLLLLLEEEEAAAAAASEEEE!

How come I can only see 1 chapter when there were 21 earlier?

Aaand it's looking like this is going to be the last review I can leave in the name of the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile). Time's up! Don't worry, I'll finish reviewing this story for next month's Review Marathon.

What I liked: Really great imagery, as per usual. Could really see the hustle and bustle of the street in my head. And I really like that the plot thickens(!) again with Rodrick being all standoffish. It's intriguing and makes me want to read more. Also, lolwut, is she turning into a friggin dragon? I'm guessing that was a little bit of foreshadowing with the red meat bit, so I guess I'll just have to keep reading (see, you've done it again. You build up the suspense so well that the reader HAS to keep reading).

Until next time
-Monk

What I liked: Heh. I like the drug-addled hallucinations at the beginning. That was funny, and that the grandma was the dried up seahorse.

Suggestions: Not much to say. Another short filler chapter. Just a reminder to delve deeper in to the whats and whys of Alice's and Sebastian's relationship. *Why* do they look each other after three days? I'm not saying it can't happen (cause it so totally can with the way you've set things up), it just needs more meat to it.

Onward!
-Monk, via Review Marathon

What I liked AND suggestion: Twist! I've mashed the two components of a review together. All right, the dragon makes an appearance in the story again. That's cool, I liked that (because who honestly doesn't like dragons if they're reading a fantasy story? No one, that's who). I can hazard a guess where this is headed-they've just 'mated' in some fashion, yeah? I'm a sucker for that trope, BUT I will say this: It's a trope for a reason, and already feels slightly 'tropey' because the whole 'marking your mate with a bite' or somesuch is pretty standard fare. So my suggestion/hope is that you take it in some original direction that hasn't been done before. We'll find out!

-Monk, via Review Marathon

DAHHH I JUST REALIZED YOUR COVER FOR THIS STORY IS THE MOON. I LOVE IT. It's even better than I pictured it.

What I like: So, this is also something I noticed a few chapters ago. You're very good at weaving in world-building information in the dialogue without it seeming like an info-dump. That's very hard to do, and in your story, it flows pretty seamlessly.

Suggestion: Five paragraphs from the end, the one that starts 'Whenever I heard the tell-a-tale buzz of a mosquito...' I can't entirely tell if Alice is still ruminating on the things she doesn't like about camping or if, in real time, she's being eaten by mosquitoes. It's a teeny bit confusing, so maybe something to clarify. But, since it's literally only two lines, it's not that big of a deal ;)

-Monk, via Review Marathon

What I liked: Haha, I like the single girl alone in a group of men aspect. That's always fun to read. And, this line stuck out to me, 'I always enjoyed teaching others new things.' Definitely in line with the type of character you've built up. If you couldn't tell, I'm a stickler for character development, and if some new trait seems out of line with the old built up traits, then I am the first to point it out. But, I think having a love of teaching falls in nicely with the aforementioned traits of compassion.

Suggestions: That said, just be careful not to make your protagonist (and love interest, for that matter) too perfect! If they are, it comes across as not relatable. Fuck them up a bit, heh. Although, I'm only on chapter ten, so it may very well be forthcoming.

Monk, via Review Marathon

What I liked: So, I meant to say this a couple chapters ago, but this actually has some laugh out loud moments. I think it's so cool when a high fantasy story can actually blend the genre together with some comedy. The whole "Hold on!" "I'm trying!" exchange was very clever, and it gives us another side to your protagonist-she's compassionate, and she's *also* witty. Makes her a fun character to read.

Suggestions: Based on the story summary, I can see that this is a romance. It may turn out differently, but so far I'm not entirely sure if I can see the chemistry between Sebastian and Alice. He seems interested in her because he knows she's from another world, and she seems interested in him because he's handsome and a motherfucking knight in shining armor. That's definitely swoon-worthy, but I'd suggest maybe building up the chemistry a bit more. Does she admire his bravery? That he seems to be just as compassionate as she is? Something to think about!

-Monk, via Review Marathon

Aaand. I'm back. Day three of the Review Marathon.

What I liked: Hard to describe, but you have a good way of differentiating characters. Like, they all talk differently enough to the point where I can tell you've put thought into each one of them. That really brings them alive to a reader. To me, there's nothing worse than when all the characters talk and walk the same way. Also, I can start to really tell that you come into your stride with these later chapters (later in the sense of, not the first three chapters). I don't know, they just seem more well-crafted and put together. So aside from checking over for grammar and spelling again and anything else I may have suggested previously that can be applied to any chapter, I don't have too many suggestions for this chapter in particular!

What I liked: Ok. So, much as I'm a sucker for Other World fantasies, I love action scenes. More than that, I love action scenes that involve magic and creatures. Both of which are in here and done well. A person-beast? Yes please. Also, the plot thickens, and it's enough to make me wonder how it all comes together. Awesome.

Suggestions: I don't have any for this chapter! I think it's strong.

Onward!

-Monk, via Review Marathon