What I liked: Oh, shit. You really did just kill off a character, didn't you? Did not see that one coming. If you couldn't tell, I really like stories that can surprise me, and I didn't think this one was setting up to be the type of story where people get torn apart (relatively speaking). But, proven wrong again. Nice!

Also, I like that we're getting to see what kind of character Alice is. We could tell from the very first chapter that she was compassionate-she stood up for Sarah. And, I like that you're continuing and developing that idea of compassion with the plot point of care-taking. And when compassion is in the face of 'not having a clue what I'm doing', that makes it a stronger characteristic to me.

Suggestions: Think about pacing! It seems to drag at points, and I return to my earlier suggestion that we don't necessarily need to see everything as its happening. Scene changes really mix up the pace of a story, and I've noticed so far that within the chapters, there are no broken up scenes. I'd definitely suggest trying out different combos of scene mash-ups and see if there's one that feels right.

Onwarrrd.
-Monk, via Review Marathon

What I liked: Dragon is a man is a dragon. Yes. I love it. Definitely was not expecting that (although, maybe I should have from the summary. Maybe not-it's vague enough, in a good way). Also I'm really into the world-building so far. I always like it when protagonist is sucked into another world and it comes to light that they haven't been the only ones. Adds some mystery. Like the knight's back-story, too.

Suggestions: Not really understanding Alice's strong reaction to figuring out that knight knew she was from another world. Seems a little odd. So my thinking is either fear and a need to put space between them isn't the right emotional reaction to go with, or it needs to be explained better ;)

-Monk, via Review Marathon.

What I Like: Yes! Interesting plot. Tending to a dragon? Neato. I'm totally into that. And it's not something like I've read before, which I'm always into. Novelty is a precious commodity, especially on a website that is SO saturated with EVERYTHING like FPress. That feeling of filler that I had from the previous chapter is not here at all, which is a good thing. Same praises as before-good imagery, good moving things along.

Suggestions: Aside from cleaning up the spelling and grammar, I've got nothing this time.

Moving on.
-Monk, via Review Marathon.

Ooh. Nice. Dragons and a medieval world. I'm such a sucker for those.

What I liked: you have a really great sense of imagery. You can really describe the environment and the people around the characters with enough description to give the reader a clear picture in their head, but it's not overly labored or detailed that it drags down the rest of the writing. It's quite nice, actually, and it was especially apparent in this chapter. It's something that I personally have a hard time with in my own writing.

Suggestions: So, this chapter definitely has two scenes. And they're both important in two different ways. The first one (bath and maids) is important for world-building, and the second (breakfast with the men) is important for introduction to characters and plot advancement. The balance seems to be off between the two scenes, though. My personal preference is to not read everything necessarily as its happening, so maybe an idea to try out would be to work on blending the two: world building while the plot advances. Maybe Alice is sitting at breakfast and listening to the conversation around her or her hand is being kissed or whatever WHILE she's ruminating on how weird and otherworldly this morning was with the bath and maids and giving some details there.

And then, boom. Dragon. Love it.

-Monk, via Review Marathon.

All righty. Here we go.

What I liked: You have a strong sense of imagery. Especially the bit about the moon. I loved the idea that it's multi-colored and broken. I think when it comes to 'we're in a different world now', that is an especially unique idea that I haven't read anywhere else. Also, it's just such a striking image that I can't stop thinking about it! Kudos.

Suggestions: your protagonist is far too calm for falling into a world of knights and dragons, I think. It doesn't come across as entirely relatable. Either she's freaking the freak out all throughout the chapter and then there's one solid point of acceptance, or she's in a dazed dream-like state and is ok with not knowing what's happening. It kind of sways between the two.

I'm invested now. Onward. If there's a delay, it's because I've gone to bed and will continue tomorrow ;)
-Monk, via Review Marathon.

Hiya! This is a review powered by the machine that is the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my profile).

What I liked: Since it was the last thing I read, that last line is killer. I love it. The whole chapter is about such normal things like school and homework, and then BAM. Dragon. That's really awesome, and a great way to hook people in and get them to click the 'Next' button ;)

Suggestions: Honestly, I've read the conflict of 'mean girl squad, mean teacher, mean parents' angle too many times for it to feel like anything but cookie-cutter. The twist of Sarah at the end macking on David while trying to get Alice to ask him out was nice and unexpected. If you cut out the others and spent more time on that specific conflict, I think it could definitely set your story apart from others.

All right. Next chapter, here I come.

I have been reading this on my phone since the original, and I must say I love where you are taking this! Your writing is amazing, and I cannot wait until I find out what comes next.

Awesome chapter. Can't wait to read the next!

Pleaseeee update soon!

I was thinking about this chapter, and I've come to the conclusion that Talasin is the Beast. A really handsome, dangerous Beast. While Alice is Beauty. When he tells her to go, it was just like when Beast told Belle to get out when he caught her touching the enchanted rose. Very clever. But how will Talasin fight off Alice's "wolves"? And will he even save her? Please update soon!

Omg.. OMG! MATE? MATE? How can this be? Save her! Save her Talasin! . its so cruel that you left that chapter there. Please update soon. We need to know what happens next!

Wow is all I got to say! I really didn't expect that ending of this chapter. You really know how to leave a cliff hanger and leave the fans in suspense! I really look forward to the chapter! :):)

Great! I can't wait to see what happens next! I think he will come to save her, but I really wonder how will that change their further relationship XD. Will it be him who will help her to get back home in the end? It would be nice if he let her go home even for only a short visit and then took her back. Personally, I don't think she would have an interesting future in her own world, but here... XD. Looking forward for the next chapter :)

At first I was a little upset that Alice was taken away from Sebastian, but now I understand why and is making everything a little more interesting. Keep going, can't wait to see what happens next.

This chapter brightened my day, one of my favorite parts had to be when the guy got threw in to the door that was priceless and funny. :-)