This chapter flows really well. You use a good balance of description, action and dialogue that keeps the pace moving quickly.

The issue with Teagan is very poignant. It will be interesting to see how that develops.

wow the plot is moving along so fast now! it's good! i like how the action is slowly building up and it's a good pace for the plot :)

this chapter was sweet! i liked the flashback between aislin and kaelin, and i'm glad that kaelin still accepts her even though she's a banshee. it gets a bit confusing though because this chapter is in kaelin's point of view, and it was hard to tell at first. apart from that, good chapter as always!

i'm guessing the white haired dude is ilium? if he is, then i like him so far! you did a really good job with describing what he looked like and his personality intrigues me so far because he stands out from all the other characters, in my opinion!

Hello from the RoadHouse! :3

I really do like the idea of this. Whilst the story may be a bit cliche, it's certainly got a twist. Banshee's are seldom written about, nowadays it's all vampires and werewolves *shudders*.

You did a great job of making Mr. Cole a creepy, disgusting old man (ugh, would not want be within ten metres of that guy), and you managed to convey Aislin's fear really well.

I really like the name Kaelin :) And I love the whole, "I knew you before when you were a goofy kid, and you're back and you're hot" thing. But eep, as if he's gonna be her first death call! Nooooo! Fight for love Kaelin and Aislin!

My only critique is that I think you should have expanded on what exactly a banshee is. I'll admit, I had to google it - the only thing I knew about banshees was that they scream, I didn't even know *why* they do it. And the beauty thing seems to be more of a siren or succubus attribute, but again this could be resolved with a little more in-depth explanation of what banshees are in this world.

Really nice work!
- Jax

Just curious...authors normally get asked who they would cast to play their characters if their story was ever filmed? Did you have any thoughts on yours?

Hiya,
I'm really enjoying this. Hope you have plans to update soon! :)

What a nasty punishment! It's essentially condemning you to starve to death! O.O

I applaud the creepiness of Mr. Cole. Even though that was completely pedophilia to me, was interesting to see her react in a way of self defense which I give Aislin props too.

And aww Kaelin is pretty cute. (Whats strange is that many of the names you used in the story... are the names of people I actually know in real life or pretty similar to the ones in real life like Cole, Kaelin and Kaydynce) But damn the twist at the end, I really want to see of what happens next. Wonder if Banshees can save humans, but from all the mythic books I've read about them, sounds like they just know when someone dies.

Anyways good job and I can't wait to read more :)

From the Roadhouse (review back please?)

Interesting...

I love it!
If this was my story "kitsune" they'd have one angry spirit fox ripping up the joint right about now! You do not want to get on the bad side of the spirit foxes from my story! Or for that matter any human they owe their lives to. XD

I love your opening lines. You set your character apart from the get-go. While the "I am the female grim reaper" line is a bit overdone already and ghost/vampire/succubus characters are *definitely* in that category, I can't remember reading one story on here about a banshee - so, very nice kick off. :)

[ Kaydynce was only a foot shorter than me yet she acted like she was six feet tall.] *Only* a foot shorter? xD You know a foot is a *lot* of distance when it comes to height. If you said "only an inch" that would make sense, but a foot is the difference between being really short (five foot) and pretty darn tall (six foot). Just figured I'd point that out, since it struck me as an odd thing to say.

Reading this, I'm kind of curious as to exactly what a "banshee" is in your terms, because other than the "death call" portion, the "extreme beauty" seems to suggest something more like a succubus than a banshee. In addition, in the legends, banshees are traditionally fairies or spirits, and so the presentation of them as young teenaged girls going about their life (with a school, teachers, books, boys, etc.) seems like an interesting contrast to the typical legends.

Ouch! What a cliff hanger! Poor Aislin. :( I don't suppose there's any way to avoid it, but a part of me still hopes she can somehow spare him.

- Moonstar

Returning the review!

Awwww they kissed, so cute :D I like the monstrous side of Kay that came out in this chapter, and how she was draining the boy...very intense. Anywhos, this was a good chapter :D

What is with the paranormal and execution? It only creates problems down the road. especially when they have a couple of billion angry humans seeking revenge for all of the people they executed when we eventually find out.. Let's face it, we humans are a vengeful lot, and we're like cockroaches: where there's one there's bound to be more... and if you don't get all of us in one go, we'll be back.

I think this is a great chapter. The interactions between Aislinn and her mum are both realistic and telling. You do a good job of conveying a bit of back story about her dad, too. The whole scene adds to the humanity of the characters and the realism of the story as a whole, making it much more possible to relate to the characters- a good thing in fantasy/supernatural stories.